Recluse needs encouragement.
I don't know if anyone will understanding what I'm going through - but I have become a recluse, not that I want to be one but it's like I've been placed in dormancy, waiting for a new begining. I am confined to my house and don't even have the strength to go on walks or to the grocery store even though it is my desire. I don't have any energy, cronicaly fatigued, and I am young. I don't even have energy to cook, my husband works all day and most of the time cooks (It makes me feel guilty, fortunatly he doesn't mind). I barely watch television, have to keep my blinds shut in my room (because the neighbors house overlooks my room). My kids even keep their blinds shut, why I don't know. It's frustrating feeling like your inprisoned in your own house (in your room), that you want to run from it but you can't. I don't have relationships with people anymore I haven't spoken to my elderly parents in months, the only people I speak to are my children and husband and on occassion my sister. I reunited with my sister and parents after several years seperation, they almost hired a private detective to look for me. I hate this feeling of being shut in and shut down, several years ago I felt so exausted and depressed I couldn't get out of bed this depressed me even more, I nearly commited suicide. I was in a place of solitary confinement in my mind and when I was freed from that place I could literaly feel it.
My allergies have gotten increasingly worse for me in the last several weeks and days, I try not to take medication because it knocks me out but I feel forced too in order that I won't "suffer" the alergy attack.
My husband and I have been receiving email message about "stillness", I didn't/don't want to accept those messages for me "I just want to scream" I feel myself slipping back into depression today. I have been told that this is a 9 year for me and to expect change next year but everyday seems like a year. I try to stay upbeat and positive because I truly "believe" I have a fabulous life ahead of me. Today I'm discouraged about my "now", and I needed to write this out (theraputic for me).
(I know that some of you will go their with the Law of Attraction, I am a strong believer in this, in my down time which is all of the time I meditate and visualize,etc)
I'm having a weak moment, I just need encouragement.
(please excuse the misspelled words I'm not motivated to do a spell check)
(Birth date 02/22/67)
I've been there before. It's an easy trap to fall into. And once you linger there too long - your brain becomes addicted to the chemicals. Your allergies are likely exacerbated by your lack of fresh air. Believe it or not, so many indoor building materials are the allergens that cause asthma and incessant allergies for people.
Your chronic fatigue is a symptom of depression and lack of exercise. You are also stressed about your situation, because while you want it to change - you want something external to change it.
You will feel better when you see that your family needs you, and contribute to the well-being of their lives. It will give you purpose, motivation, and your own well-being. I KNOW FIRSTHAND HOW HARD IT IS TO GET OUT OF THIS PLACE - but the first step is literally the feet on the floor, straight to the shower, get dressed and GO OUTSIDE. Take Vitamin D. Go to the Grocery Store and do some meal-planning. Plan something relaxing and wonderful for your husband, it's time to support him. Do something fun and rewarding with your children - they need to know that you are strong, and love them. They also need you to open the blinds.
You are in this place because you are thinking of yourself, you feel you are not worthy of your family, and do not see you are needed. Your family may be getting by without you - but NO ONE is thriving. You must see this and WAKE UP.
Know that I come from a compassionate place, and there's a bit of tough love in this message because I sense you've been coddled too long.
Take care of others and you'll see you're taking care of yourself as well.
All the best,
Of course you made yourself a recluse - who else did it? No one else has locked you inside your house or tied you down to the sofa. Some part of you has given up and the rest of you must deal with it. You talk like a victim or helpless person, when it is you who have brought yourself to this situation - therefore it is you who can get yourself out of it.
Everything that is going on with you in terms of health and happiness is because you have lost your will to live. You are drowning in self-pity. You need to get interested in life again. You need to set new, achievable goals. Get involved in something. Don't wait for the stars or numbers to be right or for someone to rescue you - do something for yourself NOW! Get a new hobby and join a club of people with a similar interest. Volunteer at a charity. Join a gym. Get some exercise by walking or running. Take a class. Meditation, stillness and visualization are fine unless they become your excuse not to get moving. Take action in some way rather than sitting around moping.
And throw open all the closed blinds in your house to let the sun in - your children are picking up your misery vibes.
I hope she finds this encouraging...please know that you need a good old fashioned kick in the *** just as we all do sometimes. As I said before, I recommend getting involved in your family - it will feel SO good to give back, and to know how loved you are. Definitely stop bringing your children down.
If you need professional help, seek it. Just get the heck outta bed.
I too have been there in a dark place. I also am one who draws the curtains. Personally I do not see anything wrong w/ it being a hermit or recluse unless it is totally out of a severe depressed state. Seems men are given permission to crawl in their caves but as women we are not.I trust in "this too shall pass' in all my dark moments one thing I've learned was it was when I was able to slow down, stop and give myself permission to just be w/ myself instead of constantly pushing myself to do more for everyone else, family friends coworkers boss etc. You will get bored and move back into life again. Trust your process. I would encourage you to maybe take a look at your lesson in this especially how you got there so you can foresee it in the future.(therapist?) I suspect self nurturing comes hard for you. Does for a lot of women. Your conscience will lift yourself up. You are not a victim or a helpless person such feelings just are but they are not who we are. Remember you are greater than that. Your family needs you. Achievable goals is a good idea. I trust you will do well.
These are very judgemental comments "nothing new", I have been on a long hard spiritual journey "yes" one that I have choosen to embark upon. Look at the lives of the sages,magi,prophets,alchemist,shamans, etc. before you misappropriatly catorgize or judge someone. I am in a process and what I am doing is surrendering and being obedient to "all" that "spirit" has instructed me to do. Surrendering and letting go is not a great place to be, people lose jobs, houses and such and because depressed, we were asked to let go of these things. Because of my spiritual level of commitmment I have been asked to do some extreme things, things that others even close to me would not understand, people have misjudged me and my family. Like I said this is not what I want to do this is what I choose to do. Do you think it feels great for the caterpillar to turn into a butterfly "no", it places itself in a dark shut in place and is disintergrated to a jelly like state before it turns into the butterfly.
As far as just thinking of myself, if I was only thinking of myself I would have given up along time ago, meaning turned back on this journey and returned to what appears to be a normal life. I continue to make the sacrifices that i do for my children as well as others, as far as volunteering, I guess I've been given 6mths rest, volunteering/serving others is all I have done for 10yrs (I have not told you my full story).
As far as being involved in my children's lives, I am very involved! just because I said I was discouraged "today" and recluse in my house does not mean I do not interact with my children - you are assuming this and assuming wrong and I do not stay in my bed all day.
As far as losing my will to live, I have already died the old me is dead and gone, NOW I am ready to live - like a pheonix resurrects and rises from the ashes, like a butterfly is given a new life and flies - so shall I and I shall rise (the time is close at hand). "I look forward to living!"
I may be feeling discouraged today, but by no means am I "drowning in self pity" (what a rude comment/"wow"no compassion).
"Ahhhhhh" what a critical, judgemental world we live in. Next time look through your spiritual eyes not your natural eyes. Take the time to meditate on a person before shooting off a reply, allow the spirit to relay a msg that person just might need to know (compassion first).
1 love my friends
Thank you for your support and encouragment.
Because you are estranged from your parents again, you still have your sister and your children that need you very much. As their Mother you need and are setting an example for them. Please find a natural-path doctor and have some testing done for your fatique.
When you have unresloved emotional issues it does lead to depression. Please find a good counsler , perhaps a spiritual one would be of help to you at this time.
Everyone has to deal with life and family issues, for some the task is harder than for others. You do need a support group and you can find one in a chruch. Turn on your TV and listen to Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyers, also Bishop Jakes are ministers that really do have the know how to deal with life and its problems and give wonderful insight in dealing with what you are going through.
I'm clairvoyant and as I was writing this advice for you I got a message for you also. I see the sun coming through for you with a happiness you have not felt in a long time. One of your children is good in sports given the chance and you will be attending the events and making new friends that will lift you up and enlighten you. I hear the name Gladis which is an old name coming in here and Alisha or Alice also. Ruby is a name I hear too. I would like for you to pray each night before going to bed and ask Arch Angel Raphael to come and heal you as you sleep, than when you awake, if feel any type of depression or negative thoughts please call upon Arch Angel Michael as he will surround you with protection and keep you thinking on a postive level. Please keep in touch here as we all would love to see you become a happier person.
God Loves You
aenyu, in defense of the kind people here that hoped to offer you a "reality check", I had to say that I too was moved by your very words to believe that you were in a dark space looking for others to uplift you. That you were at rock bottom and struggling to find the way back up. But in your reply you suggest that you are the one who is uplifted and these others are shallow and miss the point.
You will like me no better for saying this, but it feels like you want praise for your suffering. If you already had things all figured out, if you know that "your time is at hand". Then go, fly, we are ALL about flying here, that is part of what we try to offer each other. Learn to move our spirits to a new, better or just different place. Many people here travel rocky roads, so it was easy to misunderstand what you came here seeking, that maybe you were just one more looking for a push to the right path. Please don't disparage others for not being able to read your mind. Most of us here do not have that gift, lol.
I loved your metaphor about the caterpillar enclosed in it's cocoon, by the way. Such a beautiful way to depict any spiritual struggle. I found it very inspiring. I wish you all the best.
Im so sorry to hear your story, Angel.
I feel that you have fears.. your fears have expanded so far into action that you feel you are no longer in control, your fears have been controlling you mentally ect. Angel but you have kids
and you have a husband.. its not about waiting for the right momment to present itself
you are internally in control, i say no meds you need to gather your own strength of energy
your own strength of mind, make a small goal to go outside to get the mail , make a small goal
to open the blinds for a hour a day, make a small goal to get into touch with nature, make a small goal to cook your family a meal, make a small goal to have a conversation with a stranger, call your parents.. that's what you call LIVING. when are minds are not expanding we mentally become sick, stressed, ect You digress the opposite of progress.. its important for you
to become mentally healthy. how was your childhood ? I feel something happend very instantly in your childhood that you had very little control over.. Forgive, Forgive, Forgive, Forgive.
Let It Go... my biggest concern is your children ; be strong for them , be strong for your family
you have something and someone to LIVE for .
Thank you for your encouraging msg.
I have no reason to be uplifted, but I try to encourage myself and stir up "hope" in my heart.
RE: You will like me no better for saying this, but it feels like you want praise for your suffering.
"praise for my suffering", interesting choice of words- if I come off this way I apologize, that is certainly not what I was looking for. What I was looking for was encouragement to get through another long day,week,month - it has been very hard for me even to write this. I try very hard to remain strong especially for my kids but some days I grow weak. I've come "along" way from fighting years of depression, I don't believe I should be chastised for a weak moment. I started off by saying that I am in a dormant season in life and it doesn't feel good, I'm hoping and waiting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
1 love my friends.
Thank you for your kind words, and yes something did happen to me as a child, I was abandoned on the street at 3mths old. I believe I have let go of alot of pain from my childhood although I am realizing that I still have alot of letting go and healing to be done in another area. A recent stronghold and breakthrough may of been had with someone very close to me but I don't know whether or not to trust this individual, I've had to protect myself and my household from this individual for so long. This time I believe it is for real but like a tornado, damage has to be cleaned up. Thank you for shining some light on an area of my life that needs forgiving and letting go.
Im so sorry to hear Angel, no problem im always around for a open ear & a open heart.. i want to share with you now
you donot have a problem and i believe you know that.. dont let past situations
hold you back from moving forward, this is your first step through your breakthrough
you will be healed, you haven't been guided to this site by accident..
theres alot of people i see on a daily basis and i want to help them but they aren't
open they aren't even wanting to accept help so by you coming and acknowleging
you want a change to change your life is the first step of supernatural breakthrough..
you will greatly be in my prayers, Angel.. remeber to try forgiving and also more than anything
forgive YOURSELF .
I remember going through something similar that you find yourself dealing with now. It had to do with family and letting go emotionally so that I could move forward and become the person I need to be. Your parents are vessels that bring you into the world. You than have a distiny to fullfill regardless of them loving or wanting you. It does not stop the hurt and emotions that come up in quiet times of life when you have the time to really think about them and deal with what has to be a release. Once you come to grips with the fact that you don't owe them anything that they did not honor you with than you can release your attachments and become free to be or fly to meet your God given distiny. People say to forgive, at times this is appropreiate , other times you must make a deceision how you will cope and what it will take to forgive. I released the people I found that I could not cope with and forgive to God. Not an easy thing to do , but it was the best way for me to cope and move on. You will have to find your way to peace within. Do you like music and can you sing? If so join a choir and sing for glory and be blessed doing so. Yes, some lack compassion as they seem to go by the book of what they have learned and perhaps have not had to deal with problems of worldly proportions laid upon their shoulders, please excuse them as they are where they must be with their own spiritual growth. I'm glad to be of help to you dear and if you have a question you need answered. I'm clairvoyant and will do my best in giving you an answer that is sent from your angels and guides.
sorry to hear how misunderstood my compassion was. i've been the hermit, the caterpillar. it's a slippery slope; and it isn't a healthy model for your children.
i was only giving you the best that my experience and open heart have to offer. your post: "Recluse Needs Encouragement" seemed desperate - and it seemed as though you were looking for a form of encouragement from those who are caring, know the place you now find yourself in, and could offer you a way OUT - not encouragement to stagnate.
In all authenticity, I do not encourage stagnation or the way of the ascetics. I hope you find your truth and encouragement within.
Still, with compassion - never Judgment,
You've shed light and exposed a vulnerable area which I need to work on to create change within me, thank you for your compassion, loving words and prayers.
I just love you, you gave me an encouraging reading before that I'm going to meditate on this evening, thanks for being a friend when I need one.
DId you ever see an Officer and a Gentleman - A young diligent female soldier always had a difficult time getting over the training wall of the obstacle course, during finals time she encountered the same result she broke down crying and started to give up, if she did not get over the wall she would not graduate from Officer's Candidate School and earn her wings. Richard Gere was already over the wall and on to victory, he heard her sobbing and after much diliberation went back to the wall and screamed at her to get over the wall, well hand over fist tears in her eyes that female soldier made it over the wall for the first time - what a breakthrough. This is a story I live by it has great meaning to me, thank you for sharing your experience and helping me over the wall today.
hugs and kisses my friends
Thank you to "ALL" who replied to my post today, thank you for helping me over the wall.
1 love my friends
Wow aenyu - you are very welcome. I am glad you made it over the wall. I hope this means you are breathing in fresh air with your lungs and sunshine with your skin.
All the best to you on your journey - there are always walls, and we all need that person/people to help us over, even when we want to kick them for pushing so hard.
We're here for you.