Help! indentity crisis

  • I recently got a new boyfriend and ive never been happier in my life, but when we go out and i get to drinkin i show feelings for exs that i dont even like anymore, i dont want to hang out with these people but they tend to show up....ive come to the only solution and that is to quite going out and quite drinking but why? why do I keep doing this when I know Im happy and i dont like these guys, it doesnt make sense.... its like my subconscience knows something i dont or is just plain trying to sabatoge me. Insight please!

  • "my subconscience knows something I dont" - exactly and you need to find out why you sabotage your relationships. It may be that you bail first so that the other person doesn't get a chance to bail out on you. You have got to ask yourself some hard questions. Look for patterns in your relationships. Also we tend to repeat our childhoods in our adult relationships. Whatever you learnt about love when young, you will be repeating it now.

  • My mom has been married seven times and she used to just up and leave sometimes in the middle of the night and take us with her, we would never go back or ever see that stepdad or their family ever again 😞 I feel like ive carried that with me but I dont want to do that to myself! I wanna have a long lasting relationship with someone, get married and have a family with one person!!! Im 20 years old and Ive already had three serious relationships, the last one I had a child with and now this is number four, is this just gonna keep happening to me? How do I make it stop?!

  • You have to realise that you are not your mother - you've just been imprinted with her beliefs or misconceptions about love. It sounds like neither of you are sure of what you are looking for in a partnership or who would really suit you, because you never find it. What is it you really want from a significant other?

  • maybe nothing, maybe no matter what I do I'll always feel the need to be alone. I just always end up giving more than I receive and I can take care of myself alot better. Im happy though but not in a sense that I couldnt live without the person Im with. I guess I just need someone to Understand me & go to the pit of my soul with me, a soul mate - isnt that what everyone wants

  • You know there is nothing wrong with being alone if that is what makes you happy. Society tries to make us all pair up, but it is not the only road to fulfillment. Your relationship with yourself is the greatest one you could ever have.

  • i was just thinking about that today, the whole society thing... thanks for all your help 🙂

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