Advice really needed and would be greatly appreciated on my relationship

  • Hi, I am a Gemini born 6-19-88 and I have been seeing this guy for 4 months who is a Taurus born 5-11-78, Everything has always been perfect, i honestly felt like a deep soul kind of connection with him as did he. We never fought, and then just recently he broke up with me, and then went back on it less than 48 hours later. Then everything was perfect for two weeks, then he broke it off out of nowhere again, and said he was just not in it a hundred percent, and he loves me, but he just cant be with me. And he still texts and says things like "fyi, the thought of you ever being with anyone else kills me" and "i love you" and tells me how amazing i am and he's sorry...I just dont get it, why is he doing this if he is still in love with me and says all these things? Is he going to come around, or should i just move on?

  • He has another woman. Did he tell you he was taken when this started?

  • No, he hasn't been in a relationship for two years, he doesnt do relatiomships usually he said, he has a deep fear of being hurt, he is very closed off, and he said he has never felt the feelings he has for me before

  • Ok .. I am picking up another female energy around him.. have you met his family? Been to his home? Has he introduced you to his close friends etc.? Even if he keeps what is going on hidden you should move on this man will hurt you in the end. He wants you around for his gratification. Choose wisely and check for reg flags.

  • One more thing I am picking up. He does have a fear of being hurt this is why he always strays from his main woman because he cannot help himself and needs women for gratification, he main woman is motherly type, he gets what he needs from her but not in the sexual way. He is safe with his main woman and will not leave her but it is not "love". He is scared to meet himself in another. His is scared that he will meet someone who is just like him and is capable of doing what he does. This man is manipulative and is very good at playing mind games.

    Take care.

  • I have been to his house, its just him and his dog, the only family he has here is his sister, who is a mother, she is a stay at home mom, who he does spend a lot of time with, but not as musch since he has been with me. I am a mother too, and I only work part time, so i am also the motherly type. Those are the only people besides his friends who I have met and work with that he spends time with. But he is usually with me the majority of the time. He says he just needs to focus on him, and get stuff done, and it will taker longer if he is with me...amd he also said he isn't strong enough to handle the feelings he has for me, and a relationship of this magnitude. He just told me 3 days ago he wanted to marry me next year, not official proposal, but converstaion

  • I see pain for you but you are not ready to let go until the very end. You and him will keep dancing around until you get tired of him coming and going and you will finally leave, but not for at least a year or so.

  • Also remember you have free will and can change the course of path. Pain doesn't have to measure into it at this point. But as time goes so will the pain be stronger.

  • Hi, I think he's afraid of going further into the relationship. There is something that he does not like. There's things he does like about it, however. The best thing that you could do at this point is consider him a friend. You can't really be too close because you have probably been intimate. Talk to him on the phone. Get your mind on something else and off of him. Get him out of your mind. I see him as a flip-flopper. You decide if you want to be with a flip-flopper. I know how hard it is when there are feelings. I don't think it would take me that long to get sick of this--you know. Once you put your foot down about what you want, I think that'll make a lot of difference in how you feel. I wouldn't mess around this guy. I wouldn't play a doormat either. Don't let him make you sad. Just know what YOU want.

  • I know what I want and it's him. I told him we can be friends, it hurts, but I want him to do what he wants to do. Then he flips back and pours his heart out to me and then says its just too much. He doesnt want me to go anywhere, but he cant give me his all, its so frusterating

  • geminichk88, I had to respond to this as I felt a real connection with you here. I too am a gemini (6/1/74) and had a great love (5/10/74) and have had similar experience as you. I'm about 20 years into it. We are not together, but remain friends and I still have that very deep soul connection with him. I will love him forever, even though we will not be together. I found it interesting our birthdays are so close, as is the men we were involved with, and that we had similar experiences. Makes you realize or wonder just how much there is to all the astrology stuff (which I do believe).

    Okay, so I have not looked at anyone else's comments to you and have pulled some cards to see if I could get a read on it since it is a situation near and dear to my heart.

    I get that there is a great deal of worry going into this. I sense this is yours, but could be both. Your guy sounds MUCH like mine and I know the inner workings of his mind all too well after so many years so it is hard to separate from ego here. I do think he is agonizing over this too though.

    I see him being greedy and definitely some deception here. His emotions and thoughts are going way too many different directions. I see you as SUPER intent and focused on him, and he is in turn walking away and turning his back to you.

    You are going to have to pray on this. If this relationship were to work, it would take a great deal of work and patience.

    You are the strong one in the relationship. He has no strength. Do you want to carry this man? There are definitely lessons to be learned from this love. There is AMAZING chemistry and attraction.

    You have all the strength, but he holds all the power.

    That is what I get from the cards. From my own personal experience though, I can only say that I know how you feel and what you are going through. I understand the love you must feel for him and the certainty in knowing what you have is real. And it is real. But that doesn't mean it is "to be." I have had to accept that as much as we love each other, we just aren't meant to get it right in this life. It has been 3 years since we last parted ways and I am only just now able to be friends with him knowing we won't ever be together. I am thankful for the lessons learned with him and grateful to still have him in my life, and I believe he feels the same, although still struggles with the idea of me with another (even though we are both currently single).

    I know what I've been through with mine and it has been many, many years of heartache. He continues to have all the same issues he had while we were together. He would pull it together for a bit, but always go back to the behaviors you are describing. He has finally learned this of himself and now avoids relationships at all costs as he is fearful of hurting anyone else with his actions. He fears he will never be able to fix himself. I have finally learned that it had nothing to do with me, and he has told me as much. It is not that they don't love us as much as we feel and know they do. It is simply that their journey is something else and they are struggling with being what we need.

    You should not sell yourself short. If you choose to continue, there will be many beautiful, wonderful moments of love with him, but it will be tempered with the pain that is entwined in these men. At some point, it takes its toll and you have to decide if you are strong enough to endure it. And even if you think you are, he will go out of his way to do whatever he can to sabotage what you have because he does not feel he deserves it. It is a vicious cycle. These are wonderful, sweet, loving men, who are tortured by something we cannot begin to understand.

    Pray. Take care of you. Put him in white light and send all the love and blessings you can to him, but protect yourself and do not give him all your energy or you will find yourself in a dark place that is difficult to get out of. Trust me. But if you can give him your love from afar and trust in his and not take it personally, or let your ego take over here, you will be much happier in the long run.

    My heart goes out to you and I wish you all the peace, love and strength in this.

    Now I will read the thread and get the rest of the story (even though I feel I know it already).

    Hope this provided some comfort to you. Know that you will be okay.

  • I have now read the thread. You are definitely in the same situation I was.

    This may sound a little weird to you, but I had to write again. I have been seeing 11:11 for a couple months now. It used to be 9:11 two times a day for years, and now it is 11:11 and 1234. I know this is spirit trying to connect with me and am not sure what it all means, but know it means something.

    I saw your post today and felt strongly compelled to write to you given your experience mirrors mine. I thought of not bothering because I feel silly sharing my personal business on a public forum and didn't want to come across to you as something I'm not or a know-it-all. I have only been reading tarot for a short while and have not yet built my confidence enough to know if I am really "getting it". I knew I HAD to try for you though, which is why I wrote.

    As soon as I posted my message, I saw "Listing 11-11 of 11" I smiled and out loud said, "okay, thank you." This is MY sign. I felt again compelled to write you because I'm getting my validation and I need to tell you one last thing - pay very careful attention to what I've written you. Really, really think about what I'm saying. There is so much I haven't said, but I think you will already know exactly what that is because I am certain this is the same for you. Spend some time with it and really listen to what your inner voice is saying here. You do know what you need to do. It will not be easy, but you have to trust yourself here. Sometimes things don't work out the way we think they should, but that doesn't mean that they aren't working out. Do you know what I mean here?

    I believe on some higher level, in some greater scheme, I am with my love. We are together on a soul level. I have had to give up my ideal of us being together on a physical earthly level. I can tell you that accepting this has brought me great peace and happiness. It takes a lot of strength though and you will have to have a lot of trust and faith in the universe before you are able to "let go and let God."

    Hope I didn't sound too crazy and that this helped you.

    Love and light to you, hon.

  • Oh my gosh jenlyn123, i have been having the same 11 11 experiences, or 111 222 333 444 555 etc. ever since I have been with him...thank you for taking the time to respond to this, your insight has been wonderful to read and take in.

  • Geminichk88, your friend is very nature-oriented and a great appreciator of natural beauty - he has the soul of an artist and hates anything artificial or contrived. He finds it hard to function according to the demands of the outside world and will often need to withdraw into the natural world or his home in order to find balance. This desire can lead him away from more sophisticated social pursuits and into an isolated, even lonely, lifestyle. He also finds it hard to restrain and regulate his emotions and personality enough to pass muster in a world where convention and moderate behaviour is demanded. He just wants to be his natural exuberant self and finds the professional and emotional restraints of society and the workplace very hard to bear. So he escapes to a place where he can be truly and honestly himself.

    He fears his rather excitable and primitive self would be too much for you because he sees you as a very delicate and emotionally vulnerable person. He doesn't want to hurt you so he holds back his full nature. He also has a deep dislike of being tied down or trapped in any way so he will always slip through the grasp of friends and lovers. He tends to over-idealise his lovers, setting himself up for disappointment when they do not match his dreams of perfection. He fears relaxing his high standards and settling for just anyone, when his dream lover might be around the next corner. But because no one is perfect or beautiful enough for him, he will remain lonely until he relaxes his unrealistically high standards. Unfortunately it will take many failed relationships before he questions the wisdom of his own beliefs.

Log in to reply