Virgo/Libra(cusp)male and Aquarian female
I have a most unusual situation(at least, it is for me). Mr X and I met online about 3 yrs ago. We talked for about 6 months before he asked me to come for a visit. I did(and have been twice since then). We have shared interests and it seems when we troubleshoot problems, we work well together. He sees one point and I see the other; we then combine the two. Sounds great so far, huh? I think so too(in that dept), but my issue is about the "love" part of the relationship. It has been 3 years and we haven't , uhhhh....consolidated our love(if you know what i mean). At the train station(when I am going back home), he gets teary-eyed and stuff. I am old fashioned and have waited on him, but I am not even sure at this point if he is even interested in me like that. In the past, I asked him if he was gay. He got upset/angry. I meant no harm;I just wanted to know the truth if he was or not. I recently went for another visit(at his invitation). I asked him this last visit if he has a sex life; he replied no then asked the same of me(and my answer was no as well). I stayed for about 2 weeks and we still didn't "do it". Now I grew up with a brother and he told me that once men started having sex, it becomes a "need"(probably the same for most women as well). I could wait another 3 more years and see if this relationship becomes more intimate(while I starve for affection: a kiss, a hug, hold my hand, kiss me on the forehead, you know, good stuff). He acts like he cares for me, but when i try to approach relationship issues, he clams up. Some advice here please! How do I get this man to "fess up" to his feelings(whatever they may be). I just want to have a meaningful, loving relationship before I die. Heck, if I don't start living at 47, I may never.
Hi, I have been on a couple dating sites before and was surprised at how many men have never been married. I don't know what is the best way to approach this. I'm pretty straight forward.
But, what in the world is wrong w/having a friend. He may not be ready for a relationship. At least you won't be tied down to who you can talk to, where you can go, who your friends are etc. But, if you enjoy each others company that says a lot. It may very well develop into something more. I would not pressure him. I would be enjoying the fact that you have met someone that you can share things with.
Whilst I agree with Dalia, there is nothing wrong with having a friend....but you are crying out for affection and attention and I think your needs should be addressed. Its going to be really difficult not to turn him away by coming on too strong and if he did succomb to your advances by force you won't enjoy it either!! I think some subtle romantic gestures are required from you...gentle flirting on line,cards or poetry etc and when you visit spontaneously hug him & grab his hand to hold when you are walking around town, unexpected pecks...nothing too heavy and hopefully he will start to relax and respond to you. If he really shies away from you, I think you're entitled to an explanation....I admire your patience, I really do .