Is this it?



  • So my husband & I (married 2-7-09) separated back at the beginning on August and both of us moved out of the house we had. I moved in to another home and he moved in to his parents. By the 3rd week of August I thought we'd rushed the idea and maybe we needed to move in to the new home together and asked him to come back. He did.

    Now his son is starting trouble between us and honestly he is just lazy so this weekend he's moving to his parents again. I said this is it, no yo-yo. I'm positive we're doing the right thing and just need confirmation. I hate it. I feel like a loser! This will be the second marriage for me ending in 3 years!! This first lasted almost 16 married.

    So somebody help me is this really it?

    Sandy 10-23-72



  • It doesn't have to be the end but it will take a lot of work on both sides for this union to flower.

    Try to stay in the moment, be conscience in the present don't let fears or expectations complicate things for you.

    You are not a loser. Why do you say this? Do you feel you need to be married because of the values you were taught as a child? You don't need to be anything or anyone but yourself.

    Don't compare yourself or your circumstances to anybody else's, you are unique, we all are.

    Listen to your inner voice and let it flourish. Follow your own rhythm.

    Blessings xox :-)..



  • still just not sure what to do

    if he picks me (the son seems to be the biggest problem at the time) then he looses his kids, if he picks them then we have a part time marriage.

    I don't know

    My mother was married 5 times I refuse to fall in her shoes. I never had a relationship dad wise. My daughter has a dad with my husband since her father is not around if we go our seperate ways she becomes me and this will do nothing but influence her for the rest of her life whenever it comes to how she feels about herself or how guys in general feel about her. This is her one positive man influence and I'm being asked to let it go by a 12 year old whinney punk! NOT FAIR!!

    Thanks

    Sorry for the extra I can't help the way I feel and today I am just ticked off about the whole situation. In a way I wanted him gone, but I love him. I feel sorry for my husband hes in a bad spot and I just dont know what to do.



  • There should be no picking or choosing or ultimatums.. you should all come together and work this out as a family because that is what you are, a family. A family that works together stays together.

    Ultimatums don't work. Unity. working as a team, acceptance and acknowledgeable of each others feelings work better.

    Try to stop comparing yourself to your mother, you are not her, and your daughter will not be you.

    You are all unique entities on individual journeys. Your husband is her father figure at present but you shouldn't feel bad or responsible is you and him separate, This has no baring on your daughters future relationship with men.

    A good strong role model of both sexes always helps, granted, but it's not inductive of future happiness unless the child learns to love themselves and respect themselves. This comes from within not from the parent. Men will view her and treat her as she views herself, not the other way round.


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