Having a bad nite!!! With my X Cancer...need some insight!!!
Well if you all have been following....I blocked my Cancer via cell and text last week....I am feeling so weak...as a Gemini...I am not liking this....he told me he "screwed 5 other girls along with me"...I am just so depressed...how do I get over this?????....I want to scream out to him and tell him how I feel...but I know it's no use...please give me insight on how to move on with my life....I am giving him head space...and I am sure he is not thinking a second about me...I know all time heals all wounds but this sucks...:(
I just wanted to say that I am very sorry. No one, I mean NO ONE deserves that.
Tattoogemini many people have given you insight if you read back the threads you've put up.
I don't think you are not ready to leave this man yet... no one can make it all better for you.
You need to make a decision, either stay with him and work at it or leave him and go through the process of healing and understanding why you let him do the things he does to you so it will no repeat itself in the next relationship you have.
As a gemini we hate to lose in love because we pride our selves in never falling in love so when we do and it does not work we are crushed IMO ! best wishes IM never dating a cancer man again!
Everyone dislikes to lose in love... I don't think any star sign likes to feel rejected or feel their relationship is over but one must move on and not let it consume you.
You only end up hindering your progress and growth and for what.. or who?
One must ask themselves is their health, integrity, dignity worth the sacrifice for someone who maybe doesn't love them or appreciate them any more? Sometimes no one is to blame sometimes relationships don't work out the key is to keep moving forward.
He has told you he has had sex with five other women while with you and you want to give him head space? If you were to go back to him you are telling him that you accept his behaviour and he will NOT respect you.
If I were you I'd be heading to the nearest doctor or clinic and get an HIV test, also herpes, HPV and all other std's. Is he really worth it? Take it from me tattoogemini, I have AIDS because of a similar situation with my former fiance. He is dead now and I have lived my life trying to educate women AND men to respect their bodies, essentially you are having s e x with him, the 5 other women and ALL of their partners and their partners, etc.
I really hope that this lets you look at things from a different point of view.
Peace, Love and Light,
i'm speechless. putting up with domestic/mental abuse is dangerous! love isn't enough excuse to being battered. love doesn't hurt. don't make excuses for what is going on. put the blame where blame belongs. whatever you have done does not excuse him from his abusive behavior. domestic violence is a cycle that won't stop until you LEAVE.
don't think it won't happen again. batterers don't stop battering. they can't help it. don't take the chance that next time it won't be worse. he's escalating in his abuse. period.
and i agree wholeheartedly with elaine in that i really hope that this lets you look at things from a different point of view.
best of luck and be safe,
thank you all...I cried last night....it was something I just needed to do...I am not going back to him...I am not over him...but I can't continue on like this....
Notshy...thank you so much...yes your right...he has been with 5 other women he told me...it just makes me sick...I want nothing to do with his dirty ****.....you were a definite eye opener...
wineaux....Your right...I dont deserve the abuse...and yes it will never stop....it's a cycle he runs with me and I just cant do it anymore....
I had a bad night...I didnt call or text...have no intentions...I have to start the healing process...I just dont know where to begin...me blocking him was my start...where do I go from here??
Notshy - I just wanted to say.....how brave, wonderful and caring of you to be so open and honest. i am very sorry what was done to you. My prayer for you is that you find healing, love and abundance to its fullest. You so deserve it.
Taurus7, thanks for your kind words. I have been dealt a bad hand but I choose to make the best out of it by at LEAST trying to let others know that this can really happen to you. I don't wish this life on anyone, because of all the medicines and being sick and then no man wants to be with you once you have this diagnosis.
I really hope tattoogemini thinks of this when she has her weak moments.
Notshy....thanks so much...and I do appreciate your honesty...I will definitely think of you when I have my weak moments...I am just so disgusted and sick...this forum has helped me alot...I will remain strong...and if he pops up again...which he normally does...I will be the one to tell him to get lost.....he was a jerk, abuser...and I dealt with it longer than I should have....I need to work on loving myself...obviously to deal with a loser like I did...I wasn't respecting myself....I am the only one that can change that...and I am working on that.....thanks so much everyone....
Sorry you’re going through this, but know it WILL get better and it WILL make you stronger in the process. Too bad life doesn’t have a fast forward button, right?
I can tell you what has helped me move forward. The reality of what being with him, REALLY being with him would be like. I mean having to deal with the uncertainty and anxiety, the constant ups and downs, the worry, his selfishness, his unreliability. I picture my life with him daily, living with him and having to deal with it for a year, two years, five years, ten years (you get the idea), picture it, really picture it. Not as you would like it to be if he would only _____________________, but how it would ACTUALLY be.
That’s when I realized that he is not really what I want. This is not to say that I don’t think of him or miss him because I do, but I don’t miss how he made me feel and for that reason I and you and anyone else who has been belittled, or taken for granted, or abused MUST move on.
“Notshy” – wow I really appreciate your honesty…I hope others will take heed to your words and act accordingly.
I wish everyone the best.
oh girl, I feel so much for you....
Okay, cry, rage, get it out. Just keep no contact with him! Cut some onions, take a walk, work out. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is love you. Kepp reading that website I sent to you in the other thread... Journal it, come back to it... KEPP LOVING YOU and forget him! Stand strong!
"Okay, cry, rage, get it out. Just keep no contact with him! "
It only hurts now because it's fresh. When you look back on this entire situation a year or so from now, you're going to just GAWK and wonder how on earth you ever felt bad about losing him. You're going to be so, so happy being free from all the negativity he's brought into your life. You're just going to laugh at him, yourself, and hopefully you can laugh off what you went through and chalk it up to a learning experience and grow from it. Just remember to never allow yourself to go through the same thing again, because no one deserves to be treated that way.
But really....you have to remember he can't, he absolutely can't love you if he says things like that to you and treats you that way. It's not love at all, he just wants to possess you and control you and bring you down. Someone who truly, actually cared about you would want you to feel good about yourself. He would say lovely things, like 'you're beautiful', 'you make me happy', 'you look great in that dress', etc...all things that make you feel good.
The second, the SECOND your man puts you down in ANYWAY, you need to step waaaay back from that situation and really take a look at your relationship. There are always, always signs of an abusive person right from the get-go, people just choose to ignore them.
Stay away from him, hun. You will be glad you did.
thanks gypsydreams...and cancercutie...I am definitely not contacting him...and he cant contact me either...I am glad it was only 9 months of off and on...rather than years invested.....I really believe he will never be happy...he shuts everyone out...I just cant deal with it anymore...one man's junk is another man's treasure...he didnt deserve me anyways....
snowball543....you are so right, and your thread made me feel better....years with him...I would probably need a straight jacket....better now to get out.....
I like your attitude Tattoo. Hang in there girl It will get better and you will learn from him believe me! I've been there and learnt so much, my one was a Scorpio though but same kind of guy.. with big issues... He made me feel like I was the one with the problem when it was HIM!!! I was young and he hurt me so bad but it made me stronger and I learnt a lot from him.
Blessings to you. xoxox
MariaRia....thanks so much.....I hope I do look back at this and say "what was I thinkin"...because the way he treated me yes was always about control...this one time I was going to a girlfriends house in a big city...and he said "no I dont want you to go, you will be dressed to the nine, clubbing, and sippin' your wine and get hit on..." Like a loser I didn't go...I spent it with him and then was immediately thrown away for another couple of weeks....he is not happy unless he puts me down or controls me....he knows when he puts me down and calls me names, I dont do the same to him...I would tell him it hurt when he said that and he would say even something even worse...I would clam up, cry by myself and leave him alone...hes not good for me...and I hope one day he regrets it and realizes how he treated me....but I dont think he ever wil...I really dont think he is capable of love...he just wants to **** every woman he wants and toss them...