At wit's end with Cancerian male...
Hello all. I have been lurking on here for ages, but finally decided to sign up out of pure desperation. Apologies for getting straight to the point. Cancerians! Ugh! What to do with them? I have known a certain male of the Crab species for seven years - both of us being in our early twenties at this stage - and have been in a relationship with him for five. He's romantic, tender, sensitive and in need of a little thing called "space in undetermined quantities". These things I found out shortly after starting a relationship with him and his varying moods are quite a thing to juggle, however, I have been tormented throughout this month, trying my utmost to read this man, after he suddenly distanced himself from me after a minor disagreement. Minor disagreement being him feeling upset about perfectly innocent teasing on my part. Subsequently, I have been blocked from his messengers, told that I make him uncomfortable and that he needs breathing space since he's dealing with a lot at the moment. Alright. Being a somewhat overly proud Lioness, however, this annoyed me more initially than inspire empathy and I've been having a hell of a time trying to get him to tell me what's really going on and if we're still together or not. Yes, I've been pushy, pressuring, begging, etc, etc. What else is there to do? I understand his need for space, but I want my Cancerian back to the romantic gentleman who could never get enough of me, he used to be... How do I go about winning him over again?
I feel that your cancer man is very moody by alot of things his environment,
how his day is going, how he is feeling, how you are feeling ect.
I also feel that before you realized his moodiness he was already going through the moody
stages it get to a heightened level with him because he tries to suppress his feelings
rather than "Clearly" speaking on his feelings. You tend to be more capable to restrain your feelings and not dwell on them long after and your cancer is almost the opposite in this area..
Give him his space for now, I was in a relationship with a Cancer for 2yrs on and off not as long
as you lol, but I definetely understand how they work they do need time to swim around.
their moodiness is something you CANT work around.. you have to learn to be more
interested in his feelings also because they GREATLY impact almost everything he does,
if his feelings aren't into it, His probably not into it. so give him his space for now..
he'll be back sooner than you think and learn to be more nurturing, because I feel that you have certain aspects in your life thats takes alot of your time and attention ?
Thank you for replying.
I agree that I need to understand his feelings better. I have told him tonight that I think I need some time away from him, too, because the change in him has been very shocking and heartbreaking and I need to take care of myself for a while. Was that too harsh? I love him and want him to return desperately, but I don't think it's good for me to get so swept up in his emotional whirlpool.
Apologies for double-posting, but I forgot to add. Mostly, I want him to feel safe and comfortable with me and want to be around me, and I'm not sure how to do that at this stage...
"I understand his need for space, but I want my Cancerian back to the romantic gentleman who could never get enough of me, he used to be... How do I go about winning him over again?"
I feel he has come to the conclusion that you two are not a good match. Don't be surprised if he doesn't come back at all once he has reached his final decision.
Some Water signs specially Cancers, expect their partners to be mind readers and make do with the signs and clues they give out.
"Mostly, I want him to feel safe and comfortable with me and want to be around me, and I'm not sure how to do that at this stage..."
Could it be that maybe your pride has been wounded and you want him to give you reassurance and make you feel less rejected?
Giving him space is the best option, he wont come around until he is ready if he comes around at all.
I feel, Telling someone you need space can already be a rejecting phrase..
you know what I mean ?Its as if you need that person out of your life for the moment
and sometimes we do need that, but now that you are aware that hes going through something
you cant handle that pressure, you cant handle it, you dont know whtat to do..
so know your first instinct is to run from it and come around when things cool down ?
But, your cancer man may feel as if you closed that door on him, when pressure arises
people automatically cant handle it and chose to walk away from it, your space needed
should have gone without being said.. you know ? I feel that if he dosent call you, so be it,
he dosent email you ? so be it.. but if he does choose to reach out to you give him a hand !
dont close the door on him telling him you need space, because this is when it allows
for Greater communication, Greater understanding.. to know how hes feeling and how to react through these hard times.. but yet you;ve closed the door on all of this, dont let the pressure scare you hunns.