Don't know whether to stay with my husband, HELP !!

  • Hi,

    I found out a year past in Jan that my husband was using herion. He told me that he had just started on a methadone programme. It all made sense, all the money that was un accounted for and all the times it took him an hour to go to our local shop. He was very depressed, we'd had a baby in the May and he had started this in the Aug. He had a very stressful job as a trainee finacial adviser, with the same targets to meet as fully qualified advisers and constant studying for exams with no study relief. We lived in my mums house, she has another house that she lives in. We weren't paying rent as my mum was giving us time to get on our feet. My mums partner is very wealthy and if it wasn't for him my mum wouldn't be in this position. My husband would come home from work to a lot of the time my mum being there, she would always be asking him to do chores around her house, garden ect. We felt obliged as we weren't paying rent. My mum was also interfering in our lives and i always went along with her. My husband is originally from 300 miles away, so he had none of his own family around. He had a herion problem as a teenager but got off it and turned his life around. He said he was so down and felt he wasn't in control of his own life and he knew herion took away the pain. My mum found out in the July after my husband took a valium at my neices christening and he was out his face and made a fool of me. My mum was like he is out of my house, i'm not having this under my roof or for my daughter or grand children. My husband was thrown out and was left with know money or any where to stay as he'd lost his job also. My mum wouldn't even let me take him in my car to the job centre for a crisis loan. My mum was wanting me to go on dating sites, but i still was in love and i wanted my husband back. After a lot of stress i managed to find a home for us to rent which we are now in together as a family, which my mum will not come in.

    My problem now is, i feel depressed and have lack of motivation. Me and my husband argue a lot and i'm always paranoid that he's still taking drugs. When i accuse him he gets really sick of me nagging. I also feel as if he's not making a proper effort to give me his time, he's more interested in tv than me. Also at mothers day, my birthday ect he never has much money to buy me something nice, but he always managed to to find money for drugs and fags. We are always skint because of the debt he got into loans and un paid bills because of him using the money for drugs. I feel really resentful that me and the kids are still going without. Can anyone PLEASE give me some advice?

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  • Hi Angel im sorry about the stress your under right now. I think you and your husband really need to sit down and really have a heart to heart talk. Both of you really need to figure out if this is what you want. Why is it your arguing all the time? Do you wanna stay married? Those are just a few questions that need to be addressed. As far as you mom you definitely need to keep her out of your marriage. In the end its about you and YOUR FAMILY. All in all turn to GOD he is good and he will listen all you have to do is ask! Believe me talk to him he will answer!!! Many blessings to you!!

  • Hi, Agree w/MWright. I turn to my faith. I'm concerned about your husband and his stress. Is he working now. Are you working. Hope things get better for you. Seek help from counselor, minister, priest etc. Would be the best thing you could do is talk to someone who can help. Ask someone like this who could help your husband w/his problems. At this point, I think you need someone to help. Don't think you can do everything alone.

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