Some insight please? Much Appreciated.

  • My details Female 4th August 1976.

    Is my intense fear of Death related to my suffering from Panic Attacks or something completely different?

    I am currently on medication for depression, I have been on medication since I was diagnosed with depression in 2003. The panic attacks started in 2005. I feel the medication is not helping me and it's hindering my progress because I don't feel like myself. I feel the medication has changed me as a person inside and out and I don't feel comfortable with this.

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  • I feel you fear more being broke and being a nobody or stuck in a conventional lifestyle or family role, than you fear death. Maybe you fear dying without having done anything worthwhile or memorable? I feel there is a contradiction in you that you want to be a part of a system whose values of status, success, and wealth you don't respect. Let go of past mistakes, move forward, and follow your hunches.

  • Hmmm, no, not at all... who you describe is not me Captain. I don't care about money or being a "somebody" I am happy with what I've achieved so far. As for dying without doing anything worthwhile or ,memorable... uhhh nah... What's important to me is family not recognition in society. I just want my loved ones to be happy, and stabled and so do I. I like peace and harmony.

    You are right about the last part though, I am very unconventional and reject the "system". I try to stay true to my believes in that sense.

    What I am asking is more spiritual, I am trying to understand my depression and why the panic attacks make me feel scared of death.

  • I think you are denying how you really feel and what you want, KK. You think you should only want a spiritual life but we are humans in a material world too. It's all right to indulge yourself sometimes. What are you feeling so guilty or resentful about? Are you brooding over past relationship mistakes or blaming others for old slights? Let it go...

    Anxiety attacks can come from feeling helpless about both emotional and physical stresses encountered in daily life. Lack of B vitamins can stress the nerves; even drugs like Prozac put us at risk for panic attacks. Going through the day holding your breath can also contribute to these feelings. Your thinking may be so mixed up that you’re frightening yourself.

    You need to sit down and take several deep breaths and be aware that Life and the Universe loves you. Say to yourself: “All is well. Out of this situation only good will come, and I am safe.” Repeat this to yourself over and over. Keep breathing. Go for a walk. Exercise is good for reducing panic. Breathe deeply as you walk, and find as many things as you can to appreciate and be grateful for. It sounds simple, but simple things work the best.

    Make sure you eat well—that means no junk food. Magnesium would be good to take for your nerves. You will come out of this. You will turn your life around for the better. I know you can do it!

  • Thank you for those inspiring and positve words, Captain. You hit the nail on the head.

    I am full resentment.. Mainly with my parents. I also feel guilty for feeling resentful. I feel resentful that I have to take a pill everyday, even though I follow Doctors orders I am still not coming out of this fog .. since 2003... Bottom line is, I always there for my loved ones, but they have failed me, they don't understand what my sickness is and they say things that hurt my feelings, I also never find the support I need from them even though I always do my best to support them in their time of need. I am feeling alone, miss understood and some what unloved, but not in the romantic way, just unloved.. I want to be me again, like I use to be.. these pills make me so tired, and lethargic , they killed my metabolism.. Arggggg But you are right, I need to meditate, I am not helping myself, I am just in limbo and that is not good enough I need to fight.

    Thanks again Captain 🙂

  • KK, the 'me' you used to be liked herself - that seems to be the difference now. You are feeling bad about how you have to take pills to get through the day, how weak that makes you seem and feel, and how none of those you have given your time to seem to want to help or respect you. You have learned a hard lesson - that you can't rely on anyone else to validate you and make you feel worthy. They're all too busy trying to find it themselves. You have to support yourself and be your own best friend. You don't need anyone to tell you that you are a good person. You just have to believe it yourself.

    You need to sit down and write your parents a letter spilling out all your resentment onto the paper. Even if you don't actually send it (you should), releasing it from inside you should help. You can destroy the letter afterwards if you can't send it.

  • Writing it all down sounds like a great idea. Then I can burn it aka release it. I couldn't sent it to them I would end up feeling guilty. I am one of those people that when I speak up or tell someone off, even if am right I end up feeling bad.. lol.. You're right about having to love myself and be my own best friend. It's so hard but I am going to give it a try and put in 100% effort. I never let strangers get the best of me or lovers but my family for some reason always do it to me! lol

    Thank you for your time and words, Captain. 🙂

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