What Do You Think. [Everyones Advice] Appreciated
Okay I guess i'll start off by saying I have a guy friend, started off as completely NOTHING!
total opposites literally lol.. Im a few years younger as well.
However it started out with simple conversations, going out to lunch everyday
to going to restaurants and little gifts from him.. He's definetely romantic and very generous
with time and money, However he'd text me several times a day with his feelings and thoughts
Hes and Aries im A Virgo and I can be more emotional resistant until im positively sure
Im willing to let down my guard down and I just didn't feel ready to he reassured me that he will always be here for me, & he has been and done things that honestly no person has ever even offered but the last week our Friendship has changed suddently,
He almost in a forcing tone asked me to be with him and commit to him or he is leaving
and never coming back at the time I was cloudy head and didn't know what was going on
why was he so aggressive about it and what was going to happen .. ? I rejected.
Later that week we went out but it wasn't the same, I could feel it, he wasn't as affectionect
anymore and a little distant, I asked repeatedly whats on his mind.. he says Nothing.
Next day, we go to a friends gathering, and it was nice while we were there of course, soon as we leave the tension comes again, silent thoughts, no words, so i break the ice again..
whats wrong? his reply Nothing, later that night I usually kiss him but instead I just leave
he seemed very pissed with him, and I really like him but Commitment is something
I am very slow to move into.. I told him maybe we need some time apart, he told me he was sorry he's been stressed about other things blah blah blah and I havent seen him in
4 days which sucks I miss him, he text when he wants and calls.. but Im considering moving on now although I do like this guy but He does has a very possessive characteristics
im not sure if it will work out..
Appreciate the advice/Insight in Advance, ;( Im really bummed over this, I hate loosing Friends Especially.
Should I move on.. Compromise till he comes around Gain.. Or Just Let It Go... ?
Do you even want to be with the guy or did you just start thinking of him as a potential match after he made his feelings known? If you might want to continue the relationship, I would talk to him and explain in detail why you rejected his ultimatum - provided you haven't already. Let him know you don't rush into relationships and need time to get to that level of comfort with a person.
If he still doesn't have the patience to stick around until you are ready or doesn't understand, I say move on. If you've already had the talk, move on. He's probably going to remain resentful over the whole thing. More likely than not, he played nonchalant in the beginning just to put your guard down but his true intentions were always there (i.e. he didn't want you as a friend but as a girlfriend) - now he's pissed that things didn't go to plan.
That's one of the reasons I had to stop being 'just friends' with guys. It doesn't seem to matter how platonic the relationship begins, they will always turn it into a romantic one in a heartbeat regardless of whether it was their primary objective or not.
My two cents
Thanks Girl! Wow, You should really start doing some readings,advice giving or consuleing
yourself.. It makes alot of sense Im sure his intentions in the beginning were to be more
than friends He even said so,that he took me out to lunch when he liked me, which was wierd lol because we went out to lunch to talk over some business matters lol guys will lie anything for spare time! I thought it was a friendship thing as well until he
started insisting on buying lunch everyday and we even had a huge argument one after noon
when I declined him paying for my lunch, Im just not used to that lol.. I can do simple
things myself sometimes.
We talked about why I rejected he understood, when I told him, i wasnt ready.
Rigghtt, I did'nt see him as potential boyfriend UNTIL he began to babble on about
his feelings and how he wanted to be there for me, which honestly I really wasnt buying
all of it in the beginning but soon after I noticed he stayed true to his words..
hes always on time, we always hangout go to nice places, shop ect, He has a very
close bond with my friends as well even in purchasing them gift items as well.
I didnt wanna turn him down, and make him feel like I've led him on you know what I mean ?
This happens to all of my guys friends too! Lol, But usually they walk away sooner,
He seems to be the type that is persistant ,is going the distance, even though I havent seen him
he;s texted assuring me he misses me blah blah blah.. so im not sure..
if its worth pursuing, defentely considering your advice! thanks so much tenchi2go.
hugs and blessings.
Glad I could help! I don't really have the gift or the temperament to do counseling work. I used to do some of that in the past . . . don't think I'll go back there again. LOL.
However your situation was just typical male ambush tactics. It'd be nice if, for just once, a guy will come out and say "Hey, I like you. Would you like to go out on a DATE?" Say the magic D-word! Then a woman will know what the intentions are and whether to accept or not.
Makes me think of that Meg Ryan flick, Kate and Leopold. I know, dream on, right?
Just listen to your intuition and don't let him blackmail your emotions. There's a reason why you saw him as a friend and not a lover before all this happened.
Lol, yeahh.. that is a problem from alot of people shessh, and then some others
simply dont want the truth. But the truth shall set you Free !
I agree ! Its a Two way situation.. If a guy comes right off.. I think us girls
judge the book by the cover, lol if that were the cause I'd definetely had rejected !!
It is way more generous, and starting on a positive note to ask someone out definetely!
Its their games that lure us in.. [shaking my head] Im off this guy for now,
he's walking on water with me lol.
Thanks for that advice, So True ! I can sure use that advice !!
Blessings & Hugs.