I need help. Could someone give me a reading
I'm currently in limbo with someone who has been in and out of my life for a long while. We spent some time apart, yet he found his way back to me, though it seems we can't move forward. He said he is in love with me (that he was so happy he realized), he talks about our future, but he just can't come through and do what needs to be done to make things happen. Today we had a talk and it was clear to me that he cannot make up his mind yet, he isn't ready. I respect that, but it also scares me.
I love him. Deeply. I keep myself from overwhelming him with how I feel so I don't put pressure on him. But that overwhelms me aswell. I am afraid. I feel so alone and gutted. I was happy thinking we were moving forward but something happened that made this talk necessary. I am afraid that it will scare him away. I don't know what to do. I need guidance. I need hope. I don't have either.
Please someone help me.
What do you feel is holding this man back from being with you? What does he need to make up his mind about?
I wonder how much longer you are going to wait for this man because my feeling is he is quite happy with things the way they are and sees no need to change them. He doesn't want any more commitment or responsibility on his part. How much longer are you going to listen to his excuses?
i really don't know. Don't know if he is happy with the way things are. It's almost as if he wishes that what currently is keeping us apart (distance) would go away by itself without him having to do any effort. I think he also wants some sort of guarantee that things will work out fine, considering we broke up in the past, but in life there are no guarantees. Truth of the matter, he is the one who needs to decide if we are giving it a go or not, I am on board -or was until last night-, but ultimately it's his decision (I am not going to move half way across the world if I don't know I am really wanted there).
I wish he would fight for us. Up until before last night, I was happy with the way thing were because I thought that things were being set in motion, we were talking dates, plans, etc. But last night's conversation was an eye opener. Everything is still in "maybe" and "if"'s for him.
I don't know what to do. I don't know if he is going to come around. I don't want to feel I am lingering to someone who doesn't make me feel I am worthy of commitment.
Truth is, he is losing me and he doesn't seem to care. No matter how much I love him. I removed myself from the situation last time, he seemingly came around, told me he loves me, that he can't afford to let me go, that he saw a future with me and wanted to give it a try. I just don't understand.
I am ok with him not being ready to be in a relationship, but it's different when you start feeling that in reality he just isn't ready to be in a relationship with me. If he really can't afford to let me go, why does he still talk in "relative" terms. I'm not a kid, I am almost 30 years old. So is he. I want to build a life with him, at one point so did he because we were going to get married before we broke up. I love his soul, i feel we are connected to eachother in that level.
Other people are just not up to par. I've tried seeing other people, so has him. It just doesn't work out. There's just no sweetness, the sense of belonging I feel with him and he feels with me just isn't there. He loves my quirks, I love his. We make eachother laugh so hard, but in a way other people just don't find funny. We have our little world, but I guess he is a person who once had to fight so hard for something and overcome something so difficult, that now just wants things in his life to be easy (he had an accident that required long rehab, learning to speak and walk again).
Time for an ultimatum, I think. As long as you accept the relationship on his terms, why should he commit? Love yourself first. I know it's hard, especially with the connection you two share. This man will not give you your respect unless you place the cards on the table. If his answers are once again vague, don't consign yourself to limbo. Walk away. It could be his healing is not complete. If this is the case, he will naturally be concentrating on himself. Can he continue to heal and have room for your needs?
I've always doubted the real use of ultimatums in the sense that we are all people who have freedom of choice and not children that need to be told what to do. i think i did lay my cards on the table last night though, stating that even though i didnt want a relationship right now with him because i felt he wasnt ready for it and therefore it probably had less of a chance of working out, that it was something i wanted for the future, though that future was hard for me to picture when the person i am with doesn't seem really sure he actually wants to be with me at all.
I think you are right with the healing part Archersbow, he needs to heal still and I guess that's why I've been understanding with the non-relationship so far. But there is a difference between healing and playing.
I see an ultimatum as stating what is centered and unmovable in my character--what I need to remain whole. Why should a person compromise their integrity for a relationship? Maybe as a Pisces, you are skilled in moving in these murky waters or it is "home" to you. You stated that you told him you don't want a relationship right now because he's not ready for it and said he's not sure he wants to be with you. I believe that your head is trying to tell your heart what it needs to hear.