I am so tired of being alone all I want is to love someone and to beloved



  • I am Aquarius , 35 yrs.old and turning 36 this coming year February 16, 1975. I'm a happy person, loving , caring, sweet.I am not a jealous person when it comes to friends and family but when it comes to my love or casual affair. I admit that , I'm a jealous person, but I know to myself its tolerable and guys sometimes find it sweet.l .I am independent with moral values and family oriented but I'm a bit silly for quite sometimes . I have nothing to us for myself I had a wonderful and loving family and friends . But sometimes when I get home I can feel my emptiness. It's been so long almost 6 to 7 waiting for the right man.I can tell that I am attractive and had a looks that guys seeing me for casual sex but sometimes longing to work it out.I hardly doing that cos I always felt bad none stop questioning myself what is wrong with me, I can easily attached and all of a sudden guy walked away from me.I always the guy always makes the first move to me. Sex is really different to me. I'll do it with passion and connection with the guy. Though it casual or we both agree let see how it goes. It wouldn't worked and last easily.If I am with the guy I always stick to one and longing to work it out but never happen. I admit that i never show my feeling sometimes but once I am comfortable, I show it and they can be scared.I know to myself that I am lucky person leaving in a normal life but I am looking for someone to share my love and to have family on my own. My family , relatives and friends always asking me . How come untill now I am single.Please help me cos I read and observe that most of the Aquarius left by the boat. Thanks so much sorry for the long story , PLEASE HELP ME OUT ...I am new here and love to read this site .



  • From your astrological profile, Annielan, I see that it is difficult for you to let go of resentment over past hurts. But you must overcome this tendency to dwell on the past in order to live fully and commit to the present. You also can expend a great deal of energy resisting people in positions of authority but there is a part of you that loves the security of a good job, a responsible position, and independence of action within a well-run company. Ambitious and often single-minded, you must get in touch with your more sensitive side and use it in the search for greater understanding. Once you broaden your focus to include all of mankind as well as yourself and realise that many of your problems arise not from authority but from external circumstances, your path to inner freedom will be ensured. Achieving career success can be one of the biggest fulfillments in your life. Once you give up fighting the system and learn to work within it, you will become a creative trailblazer who will set new standards and break new ground.

    You may have been or are very close to your parents as well as just a few dear friends because your lifepath encourages individuality rather than group involvement, necessitating a lot of solitude and peace. Although a series of brief affairs may characterize your love life, finding a life partner is much more grounding for you since it teaches you how to be responsible to another person. And that is what your lifepath is all about - responsibility, not running away from or avoiding people and work but committing yourself to developing self-control and discipline through the acceptance of responsibility. You may have a fear of domination or being controlled by others that stops you from feeling the joy of your own inner authority. Your nature is freedom-loving and rebellious and hates all types of limitations. But fighting limitations can be a form of limitation in itself. You must throw off your fear of restrictions, form your own value system, and learn how to accept structure if you want to find true happiness and satisfaction. Having no reaction at all to authority may be your best freedom. What you really want is to feel connected to others while confidently being yourself.

    You don't want to consider a life without love or the joy of children. But maybe your ideas about love and marriage are all confused and messed up? If you have trouble accepting that you're getting older, your lovers will keep getting younger and younger. Although you might never outgrow your love for romantic quickies, you will eventually find a more intellectually satisfying environment among peers who stimulate you mentally and who help you to think about something other than being loved. Creatively you are likely to be amazingly prolific, but on the subject of love and/or kids, you are likely to be unoriginal and uninspired. If you are surrounded by the right people, your thoughts can remain more rational, even profound. You will probably never lose your adolescent propensity for telling a joke at a serious moment - this is a gift, even if it is your way of getting control of the conversation and putting yourself at the centre of attention. But that's how your mind works, although some might say it is self-destructive and may wonder why you can't stay on one thought without sliding into another. All kinds of racial and religious issues will enter into your life personally as well as professionally. Although you're probably going to be loved by many, it will bother you that you can't be loved the way you want by just one person.

    Well, of course you could, if you'd only stop there. Some distinctive feature of your image makes you overcompensate and interferes with normal social interaction. In fact, your overwhelming desire to express freely who you are emotionally or intellectually can put you at odds with other people's thinking. You have to realise that it's just as important to love freely and understand others, as it is to be loved and understood yourself. In other words, you have to give first what you want to receive back. This is the key to all your relationships and it's why your love affairs go so wrong. You must grow out of your childish romantic fantasy about what personal happiness is. Your emotional growth stopped in your youth for some reason and you developed a fear of thinking before you jump in. You dream of having a perfect lover who will give you all the support, love and understanding that you crave. But you never think about what you can give back to him - it's always what he can do for you. You try so hard to be loved that you neglect to be loving. You're actually a lot more fortunate than you realise. But no one ever really belongs to just one person - we are all connected to each other. Try to put aside personal gratification from time to time for a contribution to the collective good of the world. Communicate creatively without worrying about having an audience and develop a greater perspective allowing healthier, anxiety-free space and freedom in your relationships. It's time to be more responsible for other people - when you give your love and support and trust and commitment to others, they will give it back to you.



  • annielan,

    I am Aquarius , 35 yrs.old and turning 36 this coming year February 16, 1975: there is mental power, the ability to focus your mind on a goal or objective and see it through to a successful conclusion. This power is usually applied to some mental or educational task. It bestows the power to overcome all problems by focusing your thoughts and it usually occurs when there is something that you need to learn or accomplish on the mental level. You have the opportunity to fix your mind on certain goals and objectives. It is focus of the mind. Out of that focus and concentration, success is assured.

    Please help me: if you begin to guess at problems, they will materialize. So stop that.

    PLEASE HELP ME OUT: try to avoid any conflicts, choose harmony instead.

    So rejoice for all that has been given to you, and

    much more will be coming. Feel thankful, and never

    demand because all demand is complaint

    deep down. Just thank. Never ask, and you will

    be surprised: continuously gifts start coming -- gifts

    that you had asked for and gifts that you never asked

    for. All kinds of insights, joys, celebrations, start

    happening of their own accord. Life takes a new turn.

    You are no more a beggar. You are at home, you belong to

    existence. You are no more an outsider, a stranger. It

    is your home.



  • The Captain ,



  • Many thanks to both of you ..I appreciate that its totally true that's me. The problem is I don't know how to start all over again. I'm on the down side at the moment .I like the guy but obviously he left me alone and it's quite different this time cos I know what he wants and I was confuse in his words and reaction. It hurts me so much and almost give up on myself but I know some things comes up for a reason. I'm totally messed up there's a lot of things happening to me from friends, family and him. I was totally devastated when someone lying to me and using me for I done nothing wrong with them , I just realized to good to be true sometimes people can be abusive till , I found out myself left alone and asking what went wrong. I decided to let go everything and to be away for awhile. I wonder why I'm doing this all the time. As much as I can fix it , I will but if, I feel I had enough and a bit scared that I might not giving a chance to anyone cos its happening to me before.I'm to soft but I feel like I already give my everything and loosing my self respect this...His a Cancer and he told me to leave him alone and don't want anything from me. to much mind game and I can stand it anymore for all the swearing and humiliate and demoralized that he said to me, accusing for been whore and easy girl and snugging with different guy which is not true cause I can stand sleeping with different guy..



  • You have had your answers in the previous posts but I think you are not yet ready to let go of pain and resentment and move on, so you don't want to see solutions.



  • I am really sorry for being stubborn, I am really hard to myself .. I'm going overseas but I am not really excited and I keep holding my frustration for all the things I've done so fool, I am my close friends really worried to me. And I'm afraid to show it to my family or to let them know for I know some how ,They feel bad cos I am always broken in to piece and don't know how to learn my lesson in life.I'm so bad always cut myself short.



  • You have to stop just feeling bad and hating yourself, and work on changing yourself by figuring out why you do certain things. That will mean looking into your life to see if there are any patterns of repeated behaviour. Examine your relationship to see if your partners resemble each other. You may be choosing the wrong people for a good reason. What was your parent's relationship like because that will inlfuence your own love relationships?



  • Wow again The Captain very well said that is so true my best friend said that to me.He said it before and his thinking I'm doing same old story and he almost never listen to me,Last Monday and Tuesday the weather makes me feel so down. I have no one next to me.My best friend was so worried cos sometimes I shut up myself and never talk to anyone.Things that they don't want it to me but I already explain to them I'll be fine I just need sometime out.And yes that is so right things happen for a reason. I really need to stop to be negative and hurting my feelings. Now, I'm away and taking time again for myself and I felt so relief and it's a beautiful thing in life. At the moment I'd never discuss everything to my mum I don't really want her to get upset and worrying about me same with my sisters.I know the fact that they only want me to have the best of everything and they love me dearly.My goal now is to enhance myself respect and to love myself . I noticed that I sell my self short and I don't have to do that, I have realized that I have all the choices in life. And be thankful for all the blessings that I have now .I'm thinking why I can easily attract man I'm very simple person. They find me interesting and wonder why I'm still single and when we get a long and they see me as a simple girl aside from I'm very vocal and did not realized that it made them turn off Lol.... I'd like to talk a lot Aquarius is very intellectual and I hated people lied to me.I always prepare to know the truth and if I'm not satisfied I will dig it deeper so far it works to me. And makes them feel I'm annoying but for me I always wanted the truth though it hurts. I am willing to sacrifice myself to get hurt and make a compromise to the situation. Now I'm away I send messages to some of the guy that I used to go out but never work out. And I'm so glad that I still have space to them. I am not expecting a relationship with anyone at the moment and I already said it that I'm on my down time. Surprisingly again the asking me to go out and forget what I been through.I honestly find guilty for I know somehow I hurt them and just walk away cos if I open my friendship with them I get annoyed sometimes. And this is the time that I need to put myself now.Be in broadminded and to understand that I need to let go cos it never things I want to happen will never happen and it cos me pain if I insist it. And I have to look the big picture that some where down the road my prince charming is there will embrace me for who I am.I always believed in love and love is every where.Thanks for all the kindness and wonderful words that you share same with hanswolfgang more blessings big big hugs and kissess..



  • Good for you! I wish you well. You have the strength and wisdom to succeed.



  • annielan,

    thanks for your kindness.

    Meditation takes you into the inner forest where

    eternal silence prevails, where you are absolutely

    alone and where you cannot invite anybody to be with

    you, where you have to be alone. It is impossible not

    to be alone in your innermost being. That's why

    millions of people never try to go in, for the simple

    reason that they have an unconscious understanding;

    something instinctive in them says to them 'Don't enter

    there. It is dangerous -- you will be all alone. Even

    if you shout there will be nobody to hear.'



  • Annalien...

    I am a certifed conselor and Military soldier about to go to Law School soon as well. I do tarot and counsel along with leadership role in the military.

    First I will not read a book that talks about sun signs to describe you. Its all in your words and actions along with your beliefs that are true in reality.

    You said a few things in your first post and I know you know what they are. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity along with worrying and seeking others to validate yourself.

    Trust yourself, then you can draw people that will trust and trust you. The answers lie within you. You are the only one to know your way foward. the best advice anyone can give you are wuestions to ask yourself. You must be true to yourself as well.

    Acceptances...understand them first, the situation(relationships) then accept it...let go of the emotional attachement.

    Are your emotions for a need of a security or for that person?

    Affirmation in your meditation at least twice a day.

    "I embrace the divine path and I trust my higher self with all my divine light I embrace the divine opportunities."

    "I embrace the divine acceptance and Truth of my relationships"

    There is no set Aquarius either..I met three aquarian men who are practically the oppostite of an aquarin from the military...limiting yourself to a sun sihn can trap you and cause you to opinionate every thing to a set line of order which deworths your ability to evolve to embrace the energies of the universe...aka all sun signs.

    I am a sag and not many of the "ideals" of a sag apply to me. I am a numerolgy life path 7 and those go together, then my nature and nurture and contrivance in life along with what karmic attachments I have to learn from from my past life...so I am Holly and no book will help anyone get me...I had a guy on here tell me not to do this and that and all he said not to do is what I am doing and I am at the a divine place and so happy and balancede attracting divine opportunities. I too lived alone for 8 years! But I am whole and attracted a divine mate who was alone as well but we can handle oursleves alone and have created a divine relationship with ourself first. He is not anything like a "typical "libra either"....relationship had been divine for 1 year and 6 months now and no drama.....I am 25. I started to seek truth about me at 15, got a career vision, healing, stable on own and built a foundation...all these things help to attract a divine mate....my energy I carry within nit what I say to vallidate me to others what I secretly" carry within, what is not rvealed is where the energy ball is and resonates to attract ..................

    Take care

    Peace Love Prosperity

    Holly



  • I'm so bless and overwhelm for all kindness words that you share upon me.The Captain, Hangswolfgang and to you Turbox, I'm so happy I feel like I want to fly back home and give my family a big big hugs and kisses ..Let them know no need to worry about me . I'm all good and I learnt my lesson well from the past up to now. I am feeling better now. I know to love myself and I will rebuilt myself for my own good and not for anyone else . This is not my time cos there's is some one for me who will care and love me for no reason. I am a good person but I'm only human commit mistakes. I'm capable of giving and receiving true love. And I never ever capable to hurt someone feeling and if I said something to him that is totally true. For I know at first I have a strange feelings it will gona happen but I still allow it and I accept that . Acceptance is very important to start all over again. And never look back on the bad memories but I will save my best for the last .

    Turbox, I hope you don't mind me telling this but I'm not really a jealous person and never get jealous to anyone.I do believed in myself cos I already made myself own my own for so long.I'm just mocking around to him cos after all the nasty email that I received to his exgf or may be gf I never critizing them but I ask him to talk with her girl cos there's nothing to do with me and I'm willing to give her away. But he insist that it's already finished and dealt with it . And everytime I'm trying to talk to him about I don't want to hurt anyone feelings still insist it's done.The only time that makes me feel so painful is his pretending that he already move on but as I can seehe still holding on his past. And finally realized his story that he tried to hide it to me but all of a sudden. After a few days the truth will come up on his mouth. I keep it to me for all I know he may be need sometimes . But to accused me that I'm a slut,crazy, bitch , psychoand i make all men sick and F words. I can't barely handle that threathing me so much , even my family that they didn't know that this things happening to me. I have a lot . I had no time to clear myself . I am easy if he only telling me that he only wants me for his on satisfaction . I honestly will understand that but to lie and to please me and giving me a false hope. I am totally devastated.I never ever end up with hatred though it hurt me. And until now I earned my respect to them. Though I find guilty cos I walk away if things never work out if someone courting me. I always attract men easily I'm not trying to show up but that how see . I don't want to have regrets too that may be past by the right one for me. This guy turn my world up side down. We have not much time to get a long . And I figure it out that I'm the one keep on pleasing him. It's just a game and it's too late to realized and he told me that he never know what to see to me at all . And all he want me to do is to leave him alone , and delete his everything them move on . And he doesn't want me to talk cos there's nothing to talk. I'm so stupid till he said to me that his done to our game and to hear. Is enough for me. Just because I already cut myself short . I'll send him message that I know some how he felt something for me .. Instead of leaving me ay peace for a simply question guess what! His laughing at me and said are you nuts after I ruined his life I have a guts to ask him if he care about me. I said it with hesistant that it's all about sex. But that's against his act when were together. I believed that his so annoyed to me cos I'm a friendly person and he can see that I'm important to my friends and family . Plus the fact that my life style was easy rather than what he has. He lost a lot emotionally and moneymatter.I offer him not only once instead of paying interest at the bank and he said that that's not what he want and he will get there. I understand that ego of man but I'm the one get affected he didn't even see that cos I never show it that I can read him the way he talk and physically loosing weight for all the stress . And he can't stand the fact that my family and relatives are all pretty closed instead of giving credit that most of the guy I'm dating loving it. I'm thinking his a jealous person his gf hacked his account and another girl . Sending all the pictures that I have with my boys friends and my naked pic that I show him before one of my friend asking me favor to posed for his obra at uni but my face was cut out . Then when we arguing always brought it out for he knows the truth and I can back it up..



  • I'm so sorry a lot of typo I'm just using my phone I can't resist one day not to read this site. I will love the person for who he is not for what her have.I shouldn't stay long to pleasing him to hear my side cos that is true we don't need to talk cos I already get the answer. I said to him that I will leave him in peace St And I want him to be happy and wishing him the best of every thing



  • You sound like you have gone through a lot of self-growth and self-awareness. Good for you, Annie.



  • I posted that words jealous because it was in your first statement, thats why. I hope the reading helped. Making peace with yourself is the best thing to do then a peacfull and lasting relationship can manifest:)



  • Thanks so much guys I really don't know how come I can easily smile and really appreciate small things in life. And when I look back to all my messed I'm laughing now on my own stupidity. It never happen to me before it's been ages to recover though I'm only dating the guy once he messed up and keep it up I can easily get upset and ages to recover cos I meant my words to anyone who is will to be a part of my life. I'm a good person and I believed in love. I would not beat myself again up about someones else choices. I can only make decision for me and control my emotional behavior to those people capable to love and hurt me. And I can assure that I didn't hurt anyone as badly as it hurt me, at part of being human being. .

    The Captain, Hanswolfgang, Turboxs,

    I can't find a perfect words to say my gratitude to you guys.You guys makes me feel brand new in all aspect of life. Being single and having a wonderful family, relatives, friends, good job, leaving in a normal world is a wonderful things God gave to me. I'm single yet happy . I felt bad cos I never realized that I have it all but I forgot to say thank you Lord for your blessings. I feel like sometimes we need to be hurt by someone to realized that you never been happy for what u have now u will give someone for you to wake up. I admit that karma is comes in our life in a different form. I remember Hanswolfgang that I'm so ungrateful for who I am and what I have and that is true but now . I'm better and ready to face the world .



  • Very well done Annielan....:) Being single is a great way to refine yourself and raise your frequency, the energy remains unseen but it resonates and what the energy resonates is what you attract and are capable of manifesting. So the power and tools lay within you and now is your time to raise that energy and align focus and direction to evolve that inner energy to happiness and passion on own then to resonate and attract that divine mate. "dicine synchrony" It takes time, I was alone for 8 years and some relationships but out of 9 , I spent 8 living alone and grounding self...now 25...I have really hit my direction and contentness in all areas...do not ever give up on your self pursuits and self love.

    Take care

    Holly


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