Help me fight my demons

  • Ah - it suddenly has turned seasons on us here where I live. We got a light rain a couple days ago and it suddenly got chilly. This brings me memories of the last couple of winters and how I sunk into the depts and of how I came to find this forum. I feel as if I have gathered some strength now and could well go on to battle the dark side. But I need some guidance from anyone willing to look into this. I am trying to prepare for the demons coming up. I have to advocate for my developmentally delayed child in the next months with a school system that has let her nees fall through the cracks several times. They are in violation of regulations. I have written them certified letters and they are well aware that I mean business. Will I be successful?

    My husband - who wanted a divorce and left in January of 2009, is now living back in my house while I try to pay off the mountain of debts his folly caused - thinking he could get a cheap collaborative divorce and that I would midlessly agree to everything. He nearly sent me into financial ruin and moved back in with the excuse that he was going to "help me pay off the debt" so we could get on with the divorce. He is now trying to talk me out of staying in the house, trying to take my vehicle which he did not want any part of but agreed to cosign on the loan with me when we were living apart, so that I could get a better loan, and several other issues. He had me emotionally and psychologically paralyzed and kept insisting that expenses did not existand so they just kept getting put on my credit card. Now I am halfway paid off. The lease on his condo is up in May. He was suppsed to move back there at the end of May or beginning of June when the debts were supposed to be paid. I could suffer him here for part of the summer maybe. He either has to change his act (which is not going to happen) or pay me enough support to take care of the kids and the house and LEAVE. He had yet to figure out that he cannot live the fun life he expected he would live being divorced and not have to pay for the needs of his kids plus support to me as well. Any help as to what to plan for with these issues would be greatly appreciated. His BD is 6/12/1961 4:22 Pm, oakland CA

    mY LITTLE GIRL IS 1/10/2001 11:01 am BERKELEY ca.

    mE - 3/14/1958 4:26 am Lubbock, TX - if any of that is of any help. I am just hoping that someone can give me a heads up on what I may have to look out for. Off to tune up the light sabre. Thanks TD.

  • I don't have much to share with you but I saw the title to this thread as I was reading through other stuff. My phone beeped to tell me I had a new message. I checked the message and this is what came through.

    Daily Words of Wisdom: Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. -- August Wilson

    I just had to come back here and post this. I don't know that it is any help....but I'm pretty sure it is a message that I needed to give you. :0) Hang in there....

    PS....Did you notice all the ones in your daughter's birthday? 1/10/2001 at 11:01.....hmmm...sounds like she is a blessing for you also.

  • Hi, Is he helping financially at all. He can try to take things from you but does he realize that you are paying for them--dunno. I have been in a relationship similar. Listen, I don't think he'll "get-it" anytime soon. In the meantime, give it some serious thought why he is even there. I'm sure there is a message for you from the previous posting. Point is to conquer demons. In the meantime, your singing the blues. I wish the best for you. I'm battling some demons at present also.

  • Hi - thanks Aunt BUck! I hope the message was for me. Very cool. - Yes the little girl's birthday is funny - I always said she was my "binary baby". Yes Dalia - he is here on the premise of helping me out financially - he pays the whole mortgage, utilities and the basic childcare expenses and buys food which I rarely eat because I usually wind up having to buy my own.

    I pay my car expenses, the youngest daughter's taekwando, my gas, my insurance,the hay for her pony. I buy her food because I cannot have her eating the junk food that my husband buys and I try to get my older daughter to eat better food, but gave up on that. Then I have all the girls' other usual expenses, clothes, makeup and so forth and I pay the cable bill and my own dry cleaning. . All the rest of my funds go to paying these debts. Yet my husband says I have no expenses and that HE buys all the food and pays all the bills. The debt I am paying is largely due to me having to contact my attorneys and therapists whenever he did not follow spitulations and rules about the divorce. But here I am stuck paying for his denial. He is a controller. I have 6-8 months on my timeline to pay off my debts but that may get extended due to having to fix a couple things in the house again. I just keep telling myself - the longer he is here, the more out of debt I will be. But the longer he is here, the less likely he is to leave me in peace and I will have to fight him to make him pay the support I need to take care of both kids. I am just afraid that I will be too worn out to push him out when the time comes. I am hoping that the angels will be there to help me when I need them. thanks!

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