WildPlaces to Captain
Hi Captain -
I see you all over the place on these boards; and you are clearly highly regarded. I wonder if you would assist me in understanding the hidden nature of the man I am currently involved with? He's very aloof; and it's simplest to say, "he's just not that into you", "the connection wasn't real", etc. Yet, I feel in my heart that there is something else at play here - and I long to know with specificity what it is. I'm irked that I can't go straight to the source and communicate directly with him; as he's currently non-communicative. I am direct and have been straightforward and honest with him since our first date - I felt he was on the same level.
I feel like a silly girl to ask: but have I been played - or what's going on with him??
Let me know if you have time and/or any further details (names, etc.) to assist with a reading.
PS - Sorry about posting on the other thread. I am new to these forums. Best, T.
I need something about him to tune into - a photo or his birthdate.
His name is Steven. Birthdate is 10/27/81
Steven looks to be a typical Scorpio with his tendency to depression and mood swings. He is easily bored and has a wild streak. He also has a great need to be detached towards other people - early in life he made some bad decisions based on his feelings, which caused him to resolve to stick to cold, hard analysis from then on. Logic is his god and he will not often voice his feelings or give his passion free rein because it scares him to do so. And that's not healthy because, at his core, he is deeply passionate and insightful. It's not that he represses his emotions, it's more that he ignores them. He needs to find the balance - becoming heart-centred by combining logic and intuition. Logic and analysis don't work in matters of the heart. He has allowed bad past experiences to sour his viewpoint and he has developed suspicion, a calculating attitude, and a willingness to assume the worst of other people. In order to become more effective in all areas of life, he must leave himself open to emotion and connection with others, and use his brilliant sense of humor and charm to compensate for his detached approach. He can't let his early disappointments or rejections make him retreat into isolation and loneliness, or become too preoccupied with worldly achievements, or develop over-protective behaviour. A little bit of warmth will take him a long way and help him to overcome his emotional instability. Cultivating a more positive or sunnier outlook will help him to combat his tendency towards negativity or cynicsm.
Very insightful - I do believe this is the man that I've come to know. At once very deeply intuitiive, loving, and emotional - and the next, seemingly shallow, unkind, and detached.
Can you tell me if there is any future for us - I have standards for those who I let in close; but I'm also incredibly forgiving and respect personal growth. Can you see how he feels about me?
I don't see any future for you the way things are now. Steven would have to change radically before he can allow someone to get close to him. He would have to have a major breakthrough in how he sees life and I don't feel he is prepared to do that yet. He hasn't yet realised how miserable his attitudes make him.
Thank you so much for your time and wisdom. He really would have to change radically, or I would have to accept too much drama. That goes completely about where I stand on love from now on in life - and your eloquence has helped remind me of my new values and direction in life.
I just wanted to let you know that your insights (as well as some others here, who I've also thanked), have helped me gain clarity, while remaining authentic to myself. I was able to discuss what was going on with him in an honest manner - and we will now simply be friends. Turns out he was a) thrown off when I told him I wanted to be "friends" a while back while we got to know each other slowly, and b) began dating someone else seriously. I let him know that I had been fearful to tell him my true feelings in the past, that I simply didn't want to be a contestant in his dating game, and was developing feelings for him the better we got to know each other. I also let him know I am glad for him he has made a special connection with someone. Then I asked him point blank if the connection I had felt (psychic, emotional, intellectual) which he, too, had acknowledged in the past - was something he truly felt. He said he had - so we will be moving forward with a friendship after all.
It's amazing how we can be so sure of what we want; when what we really need is what is right in front of us.
Thank you for your time on this - I'm sure all of the other people you help must feel the same way.
Wild Places (Tara)
I wish you well.