Update on Jerk Cancer Male :( Gem 30 please read!

  • well if you all don't know my story....I have been on again off again with a Cancer Male for 9 months...he is miserable, calls me names, puts me down and verbally abusive...well as a Gem..I wanna fix him...lol...well we didn't have contact for a month....and I text like an idiot....was having a bad day...well he was nice...then he asked "do you love me"...I said NOT WHEN YOUR PUTTIN' ME DOWN AND CALLIN ME NAMES....(cuz that is all he does).....he called me trash last month...so yeah I was a little upset...so anyways I got the typical nice guy until I said that to him then I got..."go away"..."leave me alone"..."I am fine with out you in my life".....then I got the "perverted Cancer"...send me a pic of your t#$s....I am just so upset...I think I finally have come to the conclusion that is all he ever wanted from me....he accuses me of being with other men all the time...and I am not...it is his own insecurity....I love him so much...If there is not sex involved it seems he gets mad....(BTW the chemistry was amazing)....I just need to let go...I know that...but where do I start....I know he will text me again...if not today...a month from now.....

  • This is not love but abuse - why are you putting up with it? Don't expect him to change his behaviour - people have got to want to change and this guy shows no sign of that. You start by cutting all contact whatsoever and not wavering by answering his texts (or should I say, booty calls). Respect yourself enough to understand you deserve better than this. Love is not abuse or using someone for sex..

  • If you want to get rid of him change your contact details, all of them. Cell number, home number, emails, everything.He wont come to your door step, he is used to you doing all the work.

    You can do so much better dear, All the best xoox

  • Thanks so much all...your right I do deserve better....and yes it is abuse and I was stupid for putting up with it...my friend says he will never change also...he got "really hurt" in a relationship a long time ago....treats all women like objects....if he text me...I am going to ignore him....I can't stand the games he plays with me anymore...and I def think I was used.....I will keep you updated...

  • Going through emotional pain doesn't give anyone the right to take it out on their friends, loved one's and family. We are suppose to learn from pain and become wiser through it. He is a bad apple and wont change unfortunately, but it has nothing to do with his past hurts, some people feed of anger and negativity and quite enjoy it. Be careful he doesn't take you down with him.

  • @tattoogemini - it kind of sounds like he has some mental problems (like mania or bipolar disorder?) his behavior is quite erratic towards you and that can't just stem from one relationship gone bad. i wonder if he had verbal/physical abuse as a child? or if his father treated his mother that way? or perhaps his father was in the military? there is a lot of that tear you down stuff with him.

    it sounds like once he gets close, he has this knee jerk deflective reaction with you. and he's got to be in total control too, always having to be the one pulling the strings.

    my $.02 would be to tell you to leave him, because he is not and will not change until he recognizes this pattern of self-sabotage, deflection and abuse. get out. asap.

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