What am I supposed to be doing?



  • This isn't just about relationship advice. Although that would be quite helpful as well. I'm married. My husband has been ill for quite some time now, and its more the role of caretaker than wife at this point. To make this story short, my house is up for foreclosure right now. Will I be able to save it? If not, what should I do? Should I stay with my husband? Or should I start over? I've developed feelings for someone else along the way..should I forget about him? I pushed him out of my life but can't get him out of my heart. I made the choice to stay with my husband and take care of him instead of being with this guy. He moved on but says he misses the way things were with us. Back to the house I live in, my husband built our home on his parents property. They took a loan out on our house. Some of the money from the loan was used to pay for the materials we used but the majority of the loan was theirs. We didn't know there were problems with the payments; my husband has been unable to work for almost a year now. We have two young children that I've stayed at home with. Any advice or a reading would be very much so appreciated.



  • You should only move on to a new life when you have discharged all your responsiblities to the old life. You can't escape from it - the problems will only follow you. I feel it is more escape than moving on that you want. Sort out all your responsibilities with your husband - talk things out with him, with his parents, bankers, and anyone else who can help you find solutions. Put this other man out of your mind for now - you are not seeing things clearly at the moment and any kind of change seems good. But that's not necessarily true. Don't just cut and run because things are bad, or you will hate yourself. You have to try at least to make things better.



  • Thank you very much for your clarity.



  • Also, I feel like your life is far too serious at the moment - get out and have some fun, doing things you enjoy. It will help you cope with the practical stuff.



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  • I just wanted to thank you, for taking the time to respond to me..I took your advice, and managed to save my home. My relationship is still the same; however my attitude has changed, and that has made things much easier to cope with. I've stopped crying about what I don't have, and I'm very thankful for the many blessings I do have. So thank you for your guidance. I can say without any doubts that I have made the right choices after following your advice.



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  • Thanks for letting me know how things turned out. I wish you well.