Need advice or reading. 2nd chances?????



  • I will try to summarize briefly. I met a virgo man C going through a divorce (that he didn’t want) through a mutual friend. We hit it off immediately (have lots in common, amazing chemistry, similar interests, outlooks, ect). Anyway after the first month or two of dating he began to blow hot and cold, affectionate then withdrawn, calling with sweet words then just as abruptly no contact. This went on for about 9-10 months. Anyway, I realized that I was head over heels in love with this man, but despite this he wasn’t ready for me (or any woman) emotionally, given the toll his divorce was taking on him. Although extremely hard for me, I left him because it hurt feeling so strongly about someone who could only offer me mediocre attention and a lukewarm emotional connection.

    I maintained no contact for about 10 months. I never forgot about him but my pride wouldn’t allow me to stay with him and I moved on, although I never stopped thinking/caring about him. Last month I texted him happy birthday not really expecting more than a thank you or even no response given the way I left and the fact that almost a year has passed since we last spoke. Anyway, he responded immediately saying he’s missed me and was full of regret, was I seeing someone, could we go out, ect.

    We did eventually meet up briefly and have maintained contact since. He knows I’m in a relationship and says he will wait for me. He’s so guarded emotionally and will talk if I push it but is clearly uncomfortable doing so, so I’m not really sure what he wants from me (a future, friend with benefits, ect.). I guess I’d like to know what he wants from me? Is he simply stringing me along? Should I cut him out of my life completely (the easiest although most painful option) or give him another chance to prove himself? I am genuinely in love with this man and while I’ve never been one to believe in soul mates, truthfully I’ve never connected with anyone the way I have with him. He has told me he loves me in the past but given his wishy washy behavior in the past, I question his sincerity. My boyfriend now, although sweet I know is not the one for me (this is not because of C, but for other compatibility reasons).

    Any advice and/or readings appreciated. I tend to be more logical and less emotional, but with this situation, I am torn

    He = CP 09/16/1969

    Me = EB 12/18/1979



  • snowball543,

    what he wants from me? to forget his hara.

    Is he simply stringing me along? Yes.

    Should I cut him out of my life completely:no.

    or give him another chance to prove himself? yes.

    Any advice and/or readings appreciated: collect your energy remaining with yourself.

    Me = EB 12/18/1979: there is financial success, success in dealing with groups of people in some financial way is also indicated. Essentially this means a large sum of money and infatuation or obsession with money. It doesn't always mean that you will receive large sums of money. Sometimes it can merely mean a preoccupation with finances.

    Two men were chatting when the name of a mutual

    friend was mentioned. "Are you a friend of Harry's?"

    the first asked.

    "Are we friends?" the man said. "Twenty years we are

    friends. There is nothing I would not do for Harry and

    there is nothing he would not do for me. In fact, for

    twenty years we have gone through life together, doing

    absolutely nothing for each other."



  • snowball543...I have had my share of questionable relationships....I have been through a separation which was bad....so I couldn't imagine what he was going through emotionally....maybe he was not ready at the time...I know I wasn't...my head wasn't in the right place at any time....if you love him...give him another chance...there is nothing wrong with taking things slow....and life is too short....as far as this other guy your seeing...if he is not right for you...set him free...your wasting your time and his....I've learned from experience....lol...well I do wish you the best and please keep us updated.....



  • Hanswolfgang - “Me = EB 12/18/1979: there is financial success, success in dealing with groups of people in some financial way is also indicated”

    This is actually true and one of the reasons I and the guy I am currently dating will likely not make it in the long run. Don’t get me wrong I am not money hungry or a gold digger in the least, but I am financially comfortable and would like a partner who can hold his own. I don’t want to be taken care of, but I don’t wish to take care of another grown person either. I make substantially more than my boyfriend (3-4 times) and he is REALLY insecure about this which causes him to be needy and smothering. He’s very sweet and a genuinely nice guy, but he stifles me at times and doesn't understand when I have to dedicate so much time to work.

    “if you love him...give him another chance...there is nothing wrong with taking things slow....and life is too short....as far as this other guy your seeing...if he is not right for you...set him free...your wasting your time and his.”

    : ) Thanks tattoogemini – I do love him, never stopped loving him …and yes you are right, I do need to cut the other guy off. I guess I’m avoiding the inevitable since I don’t wish to hurt him…but I know the longer I stay around the harder it will be for him.

    At the same time I don’t want to reattach to my ex if he isn’t ready or if his intentions aren’t the same as mine. I wish there was a way to simply know, but like with everything I guess time will tell.



  • snowball543,

    right in the midst of the hubbub, ou mustn´t forget meditation. Usually to meditate you set your mind on a still concentration point -- but you must be able to use it right in the midst of the hubbub...

    Once you have achieved peaceful stillness of body and mind, you must make earnest effort.

    You must make yourself turn freely like a gourd floating on the water, independent and free, not subject to restraints, entering purity and impurity without being obstructed or sinking down.

    If you just manage to cradle the uncrying child in your arms, what´s the use?

    Don´t pray for relief.

    Put to rest the mind that frantically seeks from moment to moment.

    As for casting away or not casting away, please think it over more carefully.

    If you are just thus, this is a great contradiction.



  • correction: You mustn´t forget meditation.



  • Hans : )

    Your advice is much appreciated, thank you for taking the time to respond. I have and am giving what you said much thought.



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  • snowball543,

    you are going to make it in this life. Your experiences show the purity of your heart. You are not a woman of the mind. And your purity has been growing....


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