• Hi. I have been reading the threads for several months now and finally joined today. I have been sitting here for a few hours trying to get up the nerve to post. I don't know where or how to start? I don't even know why I am doing this? I just really need someone to please please help me understand what is wrong with me? What is wrong with my life? I do everyithing I possibly can to be a good person, kind, giving, love people uncoditionally, accept them for who they are and all I get in return is people in my life, friends, family, men, co-workers, who take advantage of me, hurt me, use me, etc, etc. I'm tired! I'm so very tired of hurting all the time! I'm tired of crying into my pillow every night asking God to help me! I do everything I can to make the people in my life happy, I do everything I can to try to be a good mom and I have a wonderful kid, but i feel I'm failing at being a single parent too because I am so unhappy with my life! God says He won't give you more then you can handle but He has and is! And I don't know what I've done that He is punishing me by putting people in my life that do nothing but hurt me? Can someone tell me, have I done something in a past life that I am being punished in this one??? I don't know, I just don't know anymore? Everyone sees a smile and thinks I'm a happy person but inside I am dying, inside I'm screaming and I don't know if anyone would even notice if I wasn't here anymore? I am just so broken and so beat down that I don't know how much more I can take? I don't understand why the people who hurt and use and take advantage of others and walk all over people, treat them badly...why do they get to lead happy lives? Why are they worthy of love and happinesss when they treat people so badly? Where is the karma for them? I go to bed each night and pray and pray and plead and beg for God to help me! And just pray for sleep and don't even know if I ever want to wake up! I don't know, I just don't know anymore!!

    Can someone please tell me what is wrong with me? What I've done to not deserve to be loved, why I am not loveable, why I'm being tested or punished, why I can't have a happy to have a good life??? Please don't tell me what I want to hear, please please tell me the truth and what I need to do because I don't know! I feel like I am cursed or something and I fear I'm going to ruin my childs life as well.

    Please can someone please ask God, ask the angels, ask the guides to please help me because I keep asking and asking and praying and praying but they don't seem to hear me or have turned their back on me! I just want the all the hurt to go away! I want my child to have a good life, a happy life but I'm so fearful I am ruining it because my life is so unhappy and such a mess!

    Please, please I beg of you...someone, anyone please help me! Please tell me what God the angels the spirits the guides want me to do! Am I cursed? Is there anything good in my future or are things going to stay the same or continue to get worse? I can't even wrire anymore because the tears just won't stop. Please help me!!!

  • You need to meditate so that you can here Gods words. Pray to God and ask him for knowledge and insight. Believe me God will answer. You need to read motivationally books like the Law Of Attraction and go to the book of Psalms in your bible and pick one that discribes what you are going through. You need to do whats best for you and your daughter and stop being a doormat to get people to like you. You need to give yourself self love and stop pitying yourself and be more positive. Remember you have a child to raise and you are an example to your child so you do not want to teach your child how let people walk all over her. Dont be bothered with people who are hurting you, be self reliant and not co dependant. Good luck, God loves you.

  • I am writing to you both from an intuitive place, as well as from a place of empathy. I too know what it is like to feel alone. I am a single mother also. My son has special needs (he is bipolar and only 10 yo). There have been times when I was certain that I can't handle it. I have also said that God gave me more than I could handle. But somehow, I always manage and feel even more empowered with each struggle I overcome. It is in those moments that I am overcome with gratitude, but it's never easy. Love evades me and it seems my mission is simply to help this child survive and that little is left for me. But as demmiee says, meditation will help. It is important to find time for yourself. Take a bath in sea salts and light some candles. I find that calming soundscape music helps me to relax and meditate. Focus on your breath, and surround yourself in white light. Just be with that feeling for a bit and let go and let God. No need to plead or beg. He knows what you need, and while you may not be seeing it, know that He is providing it to you. This too shall pass. I know these things are hard to hear when you're in the throws of it, but believe me, little by little it will help. There is a book called Ask and It is Given which is also a great resource in helping to manifest more positive things in your life.

    I have also done a tarot reading for you. I am new at this, so I hope it provides some solace to you. Perhaps when you are feeling more settled, you should look into getting yourself a deck as well. I have found during difficult times that when I'm not hearing my guides and angels, using the cards sends me messages that provide comfort. But for now, just focus on you and find peace within.

    The cards I pulled were all extremely positive. I'm not just saying that. They are amazing. This is the beginning of a very promising time for you. This time of a heavy heart is soon to pass. You are to reach out for help (as you have here). I see girlfriends around you that will provide great comfort and healing to you. While you may not see it through your tears, you have gained a great deal of wisdom which is going to carry you far now. The wheel of fortune is near for you. I see healing and celebration and freedom coming to you. You need to focus on abundance -that which you have, not that which you do not. When we focus on what we do not have, we are communicating a negative to the universe and thereby attracting more negativity. When we are in a space of acknowledging abundance, we attract more abundance. Trust in this and put it into practice. You will be amazed at how quickly the wheel turns. I have pulled a final card as a parting message to you which has indicated that the world is in your hands. Be strong and know your power.

    I hope this helps. Like you, I've had my share of misfortune in dealing with others and have often wondered why karma seems to fall only on me. Do not waste energy in worrying about another's karma. Practice forgiveness as you will find huge release in this. We are not victims and no one has done anything to us - it is what we do to ourselves that is far more damaging than that anyone else can do. Do not take on other's mistakes as your own, simply accept it as part of your journey and live through it. I do not mean this to belittle your pain, as I know how real it is. But having been there myself, and also having kids and knowing the toll it takes on them and how they are barometers of our own energy (or lack thereof), I know how important it is that you do this work and pull yourself out of this. Reach out and ask for help. This is YOUR beautiful life. Write in a journal or pick up a camera and take photos of flowers and nature to remind yourself of the beauty your tears are preventing you from seeing. Get in nature and take pictures of your child. Find your own inner child. Stop thinking, worrying, lamenting, and just BE.

    Wishing you many blessings and sending you many hugs. Remember, "hope springs eternal."

    Sweet dreams hon,


  • You know why people walk all over you - pure and simple, because you let them. Take some responsibility for your life - you are not cursed nor is God punishing you. Every choice or decision you have ever made has brought you to this point. You are not some helpless victim to whom life does what it wants. If you accept responsiblity for your choices, then you also must accept that you have the power to change your life into something that you will like. You have to have the willpower to get out there and go after the things that will make you happy. Lying around crying into your pillow and waiting to be rescued is not going to work. Be your own hero.

    So what is it that you want out of life? Do you know? You have to know to be able to go after it.

  • Shecriesalone, The main blockage I see here is the negativity around you and in you.You need to be who you are not what others want you to be, or who you THINK you should be, just be YOU.

    Take your rightful place in this life, have the courage to drop the mask and be YOU! just you.

    Be kinder to yourself, respect yourself, by doing these things you will show others how to treat you.

    You might not be aware of these behavioral patterns you keep projecting but now that you see how your own negativity and low self worth is making you ill and not getting you where you want to go, change your way of thinking. The stale negativity is hanging all over you like a fungus cleanse yourself, let it die, let all the past hurt, anger, fear die.Forgive yourself, accept yourself stop tormenting yourself. You are worthy, you are here in this earth for a reason, not to be treated like dirt, not to be used. Put your foot down and stop thinking you deserves all this blackness because you don't!

    I would also recommend burning some sage all around your house, whilst its burning visualize all the negativity dying and blowing away with the incense.

    It wont happen over night but if you start to think positive, to live positive, to breath positivity and go after what you want in life things will improve and you will attract positive people to you, like a moth to a flame.

    Peace dear. 🙂

  • SheCriesAlone I would also recommend you see a Psychologist. You would benefit greatly from talking to one and trying out some Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

  • Demmiee, Jenlyn123, TheCaptain and Gypsydreams,

    I wanted to thank you for your replies. You've given me things to think about. This will probably sound like a pretty stupid or elementary question, but, how do you meditate? Is it like praying? I talk to God everyday, so is there a difference between prayer and meditation? People on here talk about hearing the angels, spirits and guides speak to can anyone hear them or do they only make themselves heard through certain people? How can I learn how to meditate?

    Thank you

  • Meditating is a very personal thing. I find it very difficult and have to really work at it. I found a book called Power of the Soul by john holland to be very, very helpful. It gives very specific directions on different meditation techniques and I actually had some rather powerful experiences during these practices. The key is to quiet your mind and focus on your breath. What you experience can vary from seeing colors, symbols, or even auditory "messages". I often feel as though there is someone running their fingers through my hair, which I'm told my spirit guides play with my hair often. At the very least though, it is a great relaxation technique that will help with some of the stress and depression you are experiencing. You can light candles or incense if aroma relaxes you, or put on soothing music or soundscapes. Experiment and see what works for you. That book helped me a lot though.

    Hope you are feeling a little better and seeing light at the end of the tunnel.


  • This is how I meditate and as jen said it is very personal and it depends on each person.

    I mostly meditate to cleanse myself after a read for people and for clarity.

    I go into my spirit room, this room is full of candles and incense and all things that appeal to me and make me feel good and relaxed.

    I put a white candle on and my favorite incense on, which is Dragons blood incense. I start controlling my breathing,.. this can take 20 minutes depending on how I am feeling, then slowly start to visualize a very bright white light going from my toes all the way to the top of my head, very slowly, the light goes all over my body, this light cleanses me, and gives me clarity. I visualize the negativity in me banishing and flowing away with the incense. All bad thoughts, insecurities, and ill thoughts vanish with the incense, I keep doing this until I feel I reached my goal.

    There is so much info on the net about meditation and also books in the library, I feel meditation will do you a world of good. 🙂

  • Hi SheCries, Please know that everyone has experienced this before or even now. God speaks to all of us, we have to learn how to recognize it. My suggestion to you is to get out and walk, exercise, go to the mall, etc. You seem to be focusing a lot on yourself. I don't know specifically what has failed. I have had failure also. When you have failure, it takes inner strength to pick-up the pieces. When looking back, a lot of the failure was not a result of anything I did.

    What I would like for you to do is look at what will make you happy. It may not be an easy path. A lot of the time, the right path is somewhat harder than the path your taking. Maybe you have done things based on what others may think. Be happy knowing that you are a positive person and look out for No. 1 for a change. Remember there's still a lot that we can control.

  • You have spent your whole life making sure everyone else is happy but you have neglected your own needs. You are a person too. Do something for yourself now. And try saying 'no' to others if it's inconvenient or you don't want to do something. People can get used to taking from you because you never stop giving but this only makes them forget gratitude and appreciation and instead they take advantage of your generosity. Try to learn the difference between those who really need and deserve your help and those who could help themselves but would prefer someone else to do it for them. You are not helping those people stand on their feet if you coddle them too much.

  • Thanks again everyone! School was out today so I took a vacation day and spent it with my kid : ) It was a cool, rainy stormy day so we just hung out and enjoyed doing nothing but play games and took a nap, lol!

    I don't know yet what I need to do but I think joining and posting a few days ago was the start of me being able to release so that I can make some changes towards getting out of this slump and moving forward. I know there will be ups and downs but at least for today, I have not shed a tear and for that I am thankful and I am feeling a bit encouraged. I'm glad I found this site and decided to join.

  • I agree with gypsydreams

    burning sage is great for cleansing area around you

    visualizing blue/white light can repel any negativity sent to you back to sender

    this way negativity doesn't linger

    to cleanse lingering negativity you can use clear crystal quartz

    wash it with a pinch of salt under running water every day and let it air dry

    blow your breath on to each corner of it, then place it under the sun

    next day start the same routine from washing to placing under the sun

    in your case, you need to do the sage stick burning, visualization and crystal routines everyday

    one day you will feel 'lighter' and then you can choose which one to continue doing

    if you want to know more about crystal, I found a book by Costelloe

    look it up,it will help. In my case all these 3 already enough, but you might need more crystals

  • Thank you so very much for the tips Leoscorpion. I really like burning incense so I will see if I can find sage. I've heard about crystals but I don't really know anything about them or where to find them but I will definately check to see where I can get them and also look for the book you mentioned.

    Thanks again!

    God Bless

  • you're welcome Shecries

    hope you have a good week

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