Question for Captain about Cancer Man

  • Hi Captain:

    I've been reading many of the threads and I've noticed that you really offer sound advice as well as insight as you did with mine. However, I wish you could give me a bit more insight as I am honestly in shock that he still hasn't even bothered to contact me even after I attempted last week. Is he going to? or do you think he's just letting go? Sorry to bother you but I'd love if you could give me more info based on our bdays as you did with Hotvirgorising. My bday is Aug 9, 1978. His is June 24, 1979.

    As I said in my previous post. We have been together for a year now. And we've had about 5 arguments in total which are mainly about the same thing... more quality time... as we are long distance. In the last one, I told him it's over and I hung up the phone. We ended up talking again and he told me he won't move forward anymore as he's done with feeling he's not adequate enough for me (which I never implied). I tried to be friends and it didn't work at all for him because he was so cold and he told me to take it or leave it so I told him I'd leave it. That was the last I heard from his end, except that I texted him to tell him I hope he feels better last week because he posted that he was sick on Facebook. All I got was a "thank you, I appreciate it" reply. I just don't see how he could go completely cold and unmoving over night. This really hurts and I really wish I had some clarity of the situation. How could he just forget about me so quickly?

  • Oh, I wish I had a dollar for every person who complains about their Cancer man. I'd be very very rich! You have learned a hard lesson about Cancer men, which is that they have a big fantasy in their minds about what their ideal partner is like (the perfect submissive little wife and homemaker who does everything well and is also the perfect mother to both him and his children) and they will very quickly turn 'on' to you then just as quickly 'off' when you fail to measure up to their impossibly high standards. So they are forever hopping from partner to partner in search of that impoosible dream. They are always thinking the grass must be greeener somewhere else, always keeping their options open, and therefore will never commit entirely to one person because they always feel their 'dream partner' is still out there.They fail to realise that, while they search for this unrealistic goal, they are far from being the ideal partner themselves.

    This is best for a casual friendship. You two have a tremendous effect on others, sometimes taking your social group to a whole new level. Your friend's ability to impart a sense of the magical, combined with your strength and fortitude, can create unforgettable experiences for those around you. If you two work for a good cause for other people, your relationship is unstoppable. However, in your private dealings, your friend will often try to dominate or control you; his aggressive side may also emerge in personal relationships. You are not particularly known for your passivity, but in your relationship with this guy, you are capable of losing your emotional way and undermining your own self-assurance. You may initially adopt an overconfident stance with him, then suffer tremendously when you are unable to live up to that image. In such a case, your friend quietly wins the upper hand, by default.

    A romantic relationship here is very complex. You can be cool and distant from time to time, but your friend will usually be able to thaw out these icy periods. Furthermore, you are not usually adept enough in the area of feelings to oppose his emotional drives, which tend to assume the ascendancy. His overt or covert manipulations usually keep you in tow. Marriage is not recommended here. You are faithful and will hang in there - the masochistic side of your personality will not allow you to easily admit defeat, even when your partner falls out of love or becomes disenchanted with you and shuts down physically and emotionally. Your friend will have great difficulty with what he sees as your insensitivity. He will always want out of this relationship.

    Friendship is best kept casual, making as few demands as possible on each other.

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