*** Please help??? Some insight needed.
Broke up with ex in July, haven't talked to him in nearly 3 months. Just wondering how he is, what he's been up to, how's he been feeling, does he miss me etc.
He has completely devastated me with his actions and I don't plan on talking to him again.. But I still love him and I'm curious.
Thank you, would appreciate any help.
3 Sept 1989 just incase you need my DOB.
Anyone?? Please I would like to know =(
I am a Tarot reader in training. I have done my best with what little information you have provided, as well as the newness of my skillset. My intentions are of the best. I have asked the Universe to provide insight into his perspective and subconscious to help with this reading.
For the Basis Card, I have pulled the Death Reversed. This is a Major Arcana card and is therefore incredibly significant. Death always signifies change, and typically signifies the end or rebirth or a cycle. In the reversed position, I see this card is reflecting a break-up that he did not anticipate or want; and which was in fact painful for him as it is for you.
For the Current Situation Card, I have pulled the Eight of Cups Reversed. The Cups represent our emotional side,, our intuition, and connection to our higher selves. The number eight is a powerful number in numerology, as well as within the Tarot, in which it is tied to the Strength card. Whether this card is upright or reversed, it can have positive and negative qualities. However, I currently feel that your ex-lover is in an emotional imbalance of sorts. It's as though he is aware of some work he needs to do to grow or learn from the pain of your break-up; but he is not yet up to task. He is unaware of his inner strength, and walks away from the sources within and around which can assist this growth.
For the Future/Outcome, I have pulled The Hermit: This card signifies to me that he will come to a place of solitude, reflection, and strength. He will gain the insights necessary to learn and grow from this experience.
This reading does not tell me whether or not you two have a future together - since that is not what you asked; but it does indicate to me clearly that you are still in his mind and heart; and try though he might to deny that fact to himself - he will come to face the reality and grow from the love you both once shared.
I hope this reading rings true and has helped you to move forward. Please let me know - I am eager to hone my skills and help others.
All the best,
Thank you Wildplaces =). Your reading was good and is accurate. I broke up with him you see... I didn't want to, but needed to for myself. I couldn't stay with sb who couldn't respect me or be honest and loyal.
Anymore readers?? I am getting urges to contact him. But I know I shouldn't.
You see... It's simply not that easy cutting him off. He was a soulmate. That I know is true, and I have learnt alot from everything that has happened. It's just hard to completely let go bc he meant so much to me. So much I can't even explain. And now that I've cut contact, I've liberated myself, but in a way am still chained bc of the connection.
So please, if some other readers could shed light on the situation I would be very grateful.
He is just as you left him dear. He is still trying to fulfill artificial desires. He is stumbling like a lost soul in meaningless actions dissatisfied and bored. Not knowing what his potential is or who he is. He is also not single, he has another, You would do good to let him go because you are much more developed emotionally.
oh god. I don't know why it hurts so much. Why did I have to fall for him? I thought I was getting better!
Thanks for that. I kinda suspected this. Afterall, he cheated on me through the whole relationship. But still, I thought what we had was a special connection. I'm so stupid but I did love him so much.
I'm supposed to meet somebody in November right? =( I'm so damaged.
Dear Mintgirl, please don't feel you are silly for falling for this guy. How are you meant to grow and make better choices in future if you don't make mistakes and or date some frogs? These are not mistakes in my book these are lessons. No need to feel bad about this, and yes it does hurt very much but with time you will heal. Don't let this close your heart. Falling in love is beautiful and brave because you open your heart to another, energies flow and life is wonderful, and there is nothing better than this, with the right person. You have a sweet heart, you will find a more deserving man. I see some opportunities within 6 months time. You will be feeling much better by then too.
Please don't say your damaged. You made an adult decision to do what was best for you and it was the RIGHT one, I know you are second guessing yourself but you did the right thing sweetie. YOU showed him that you respect yourself and won't tolerate his cheating, NOW you have to stick to your word.
Is there some kind of activities or volunteering that you can get involved in to distract yourself? I feel that if you do this you will think of him less frequently and also feel better about yourself. I also see if you do this you may just meet someone worthwhile.
I congratulate you for putting your self respect first.
(((Big Virtual Hugs)))
Was I really just something to keep him occupied and to fill a void in his life? Was I really nothing to him?
Bc I felt so deeply for him, and it really hurts knowing that I meant nothing. I know they say look at actions, but something in his eyes suggested I DID mean something. =(
Of course he loved you. He loved you the way he knew how which is not the way you feel love should be expressed. By cheating on you he was cheating himself because he is truly lost and insecure and doesn't love himself very much. You did mean a lot to this man, unfortunately his issues got in the way of his love for you.
Why is he so insecure and lost? Is there a reason for that?
I loved him despite everything.
I was willing to do anything for him.
If he loved me how can he just replace me just like that.
I feel so replaceable.
From what I can see he has issues with his inner equilibrium.He has no balance. Wasteful and excessive. For him to have the love of one woman is not enough, that is were his insecurities come in. He is a womanizer basically. These types have a way of making you feel like a failure and make you question your femininity, thus making you want to prove yourself to them that you are better than all his other conquests. Don't let him do that, he failed you. He is a taker and you are a giver, this is why you feel so hurt right now. Learn from this, next time when someone breaks your trust stop giving, because trust is very sacred. You will be ok.
Just know that he didn't replace you, he is just trying to fill up a deep hole within him , some people use drugs, some use food, he uses sex.
The word S E X was banned.
Sigh. This is depressing. It's even more depressing that in a way I sense all that and despite everything, nothing changes my feelings for him. Urgh.
Does he think about me at all these days? Miss me?
Cos I think about hiim and miss him too much all the time.
It's like a rollercoaster, I thought I was doing alright, but these few days the feelings are back. I miss him so.
Dear mintgirl123, I ask that you forgive my butting in; I too had many of the feelings you now have. You may think I am out of my mind when I tell you that this is the beginning of a journey that can be beautiful. You will feel more alive and more beautiful. After you acknowledge that the lies, innuendos, embarrassment feelings you were feeling were actually true. They were directed to you by a man that "supposedly" loved you.
Gypsydreams gave you some loving advice: He is a womanizer basically. These types have a way of making you feel like a failure and make you question your femininity, thus making you want to prove yourself to them that you are better than all his other conquests. Don't let him do that, he failed you. He is a taker and you are a giver, this is why you feel so hurt right now. Learn from this, next time when someone breaks your trust stop giving, because trust is very sacred. You will be ok.
My journey started before yours. I was really good at closing off people. I was horribly unhappy and felt powerless. I have learned the value of women friends. We all have experienced some ugly situations in our life and in my case, I allowed everyone to believe I was a happy-camper. Far from it. That denial, does come and we have to deal with it. I took an extremely brave step to the plate and ended a verbal, mental, spiritual abusive, passive/aggressive man.
The advice given to step out and help others is good advice.
I re-established a monthly get together lunch/breakfast with 2 cousins and some college friends. I have/am a member of a woman's non-profit organization raising $ for responsible charities. That's 100% from our functions! Love it.....I have another group of older ladies that are precious and we meet once a month. Their love and support has been wonderful from both groups. Since I opened up, they have opened up. We have to keep our girlfriends in the world "lifted up". You go girlfriend, you are on for better days and BELIEVE IT!
Hey Mint -
I'm going to chime in here again, on a personal level as well. I guess a lot of us fall for these types of men (it must be because we're healers). Something that I've learned with time and having a child as well, is that I can not heal anyone - my self included - if I do not set standards and boundaries for people who I allow into my inner circle. The man who makes it into my most intimate world will have a lot of love waiting for him; but it must be earned with trust, respect, and dignity first.
Female friends are incredibly important. They may not be telling you what you want to hear right now, or how you want to hear it - which is why you are here. But the truth is, sisterhood can be the best reminder of your worth and value if you have lost sight of it - which you clearly have. Sometimes, we all do - do not rake yourself over the coals for low self-esteem or the feelings you feel. You are entitled to all of it - and it is part of your work and life path of learning about yourself and others.
There is no future with this man, unless you want to be continually rejected and abandoned. How he feels about you is not what matters anymore, his actions belie his emotions as he is not of enough emotional intelligence to act on them. Do not pursue him in any way - not even as a friend. I've tried that with someone from my past with whom I was in a similar relationship. It never works - on a base level there will be some form of the same dynamic no matter how many years have passed or how much you two have changed.
I am not telling you to cut him out of your heart or to turn your heart cold. That is the saddest part of a heart-break; because that is when you stop being true to yourself. I advise however, that you put your love for him somewhere deep down, with positive intentions for his well-being - and move on for yourself with an open heart to the possibilities of the Universe.
All the Best,
Rest assured. I'm never going to speak to this person again. I have too much self respect for that, and he has killed my heart too completely for me to even comtemplate giving him another chance lol. Just asked about his thoughts and feelings bc I would like to think that I meant sth. Nobody likes to believe they were literally just a play thing you know?
I've decided I'm going to stop dwelling. And just try to really just let go and be happy. I really gave it my best effort, at least on my end there are no regrets.
I do want him to be happy, and I have prayed to god months ago to bless him with my love. I do forgive him, and even though it might not be deserved, I don't harbour any hatred for him. I don't even want to be friends. Now I've realised i don't want a friend that holds such low respect for me lol.