Bad situation between Cancer man and me(virgo woman)



  • So this is the shorter version of the long story. I have been talking to this guy John since June, so it has been four months. We never did anything sexual, we were literally just talking, getting to know each other, etc (we were long distance, so it was impossible to have sex LOL). It had been going very well, except for one minor situation where he forgot to call me when he said he would. On sunday night, an anonymous twitter account tagged me and this girl named Sarah, in a tweet. This mention led us to find out that we were talking to the same guy.

    Now, this guy had twitter, and back in July, 3 months ago, he tweeted me in response to a tweet of my own saying he wanted to be my boyfriend. I didn't take it seriously, but clearly, he had an interest in me. He never updated his twitter since then. So I was his top tweet for the last 3 months. So she must have had seen this within the last three months if she talks to him.

    Basically, she has been talking to him for 10 months. She said they do everything that a typical couple does such as spending time together, having sex, and they tell each other "I Love You". BUT-- she says that the reason they are not together is because he says "he's not ready for a relationship and doesn't want to ruin their friendship." ----My opinion? She is just his jump off; and he clearly doesn't want to commit to her. I have a ton of guy friends and from what I know that's the oldest line in the book! If he really loved her and wanted to be with her, he would. Especially after almost a whole year.

    She was very diplomatic about the whole thing, but in one of our messages she said "Well dont get me wrong but come on he plays football and your all the way in New York did u really think that he was goin to be talkin to one girl? NO DISRESPECT AT ALL just askin a question?" Now, I had a feeling he had been talking to girls besides me, just as I had been chatting with a few other guys. But what I find funny is that she's saying that of course hes going to talk to someone closer since I'm all the way in New York. Yet, she is in the same state as him, a 45 minute drive....so WHY is he talking to someone else? What does that say about her? I have been talking to John for 4 months, which means that we started talking while they were at 6 months. What does that tell her? She obviously wasn't fulfilling all his wants and needs in a female, so he went and looked for someone else. Another thing that I find interesting is that her facebook is set to "In a relationship" and his says "single". ... All her little friends are saying **** like I'm a side chick, and I'm a hoe, and "every dog is gone have his fleas". But EXCUSE ME, You aren't even a relationship with him in the first place! And Im not having sex with him so I'm definitely not a whore. And he calls me everyday, so I'm not "on the side."

    So after I discussed all of this with her, I talked to him on facebook chat, and I asked why he deleted the status about me from twitter. He did not answer me as he went idle so he probably wasn't at his computer. I put up a status on facebook that says "I don't **** with people who can't keep it 100, It's as simple as that." The next morning, I was on facebook chat and he responded from the night before, saying "he had to delete it". I said "okay, whatever, bye."

    Then, He blocked me on facebook! So I texted him, asking why, and he said that there was too many people coming at him with bullshit. I guess that her and her friends went psycho on him because I ain't do ****! I've been keeping it very mature and very diplomatic. I said "so what are just never gone speak again" and he said "I'm gone speak, I'm just waiting until I find out cause it's some bullshit going on." I respected that. I didn't talk to him after that text, until about 9 last night, when I left him a voicemail. In the voicemail I said to him: "Listen, I want to let you know that I wasn't mad about the fact that you were talking to another girl, I was mad about the fact that you lied about it. I really wouldn't have been bothered by it because we were not in a relationship. I understand that you have a lot going on with school and football, so give me a call back when you're ready to talk." He did not call me back, so this morning I texted him saying "Good morning, I hope you have a better day today. Even though what you did was disrespectful I still want to try to at least work it out, cause I'm not the type to just throw someone away and I was starting to care about you." He wrote me back, saying "We will talk about that later." and i said "yea I understand." I am very prooud of myself for not chasing him, or acting hurt, or acting needy!

    I want to know if I handled this situation well, and if you think he will come around if I continue to be patient. We have always flowed very well together.



  • if you really want him keep up the good work see me im a drama queen i would have sent him just what i was feeling but you did handle it well and he will like that about you dont chase him it ruins your value with these guys dont act hurt or needy thats what i did and it pushed my cancer away for good i think so stay cool i know its hard these guys are like magnets btw yes he will be back because you didnt scare him off you were polite and he knows the door is still open and that it safe to come back in and he will be back mines came back plenty of times but everyone says he has finally had enough of me and my biggggggggggg mouth hehe i must admit i think i will never date a cancer guy again tho because you have to hold back your true feelings all to protect their feelings and that gets tiresome i just would explode on mines and he had enough i guess but i couldnt keep up that i wont act needy i will be patient i wont show my hurt act any longer see they are the type to hurt you in the nicest way ever and its confusing but hurt is hurt! GOOD LUCK:)



  • It's hard to know w/ folks hiding behind high tech stuff and not willing to be "there".I'd just get on w/ my life. It's your ego that's stirred up. If he's doing other women he most likely always will. Unless you like that kinda thing I wouldn't invest another second. But if you want to play the game....I don't want to be unkind but all your behaviors do sound needy (to me) but I wouldn't even respond. One day you will see the "hook" and know you have another choice. Good luck


Log in to reply