Will The One You Want Ever Love You?
Article by Advisor "Empathic Amanda"
Psychics, empaths and tarot readers are often asked this question. And it is understandable why so many people want to know the answer when getting a reading about potential mates. We can all become deeply attached to the love we feel for another, and experience a strong desire to have that love returned. At its core, this is as natural as the bond between mothers and children. However, in love relationships, just as in mother/child relationships, love is not always returned, sustained, or expressed.
Many times, when we ask if someone will ever love us, we are asking if a person will ever change. Regardless of a reader's prediction, this is always up to the individual in question because we all have free will and can change or not change at any time. Sometimes what we want to know is if we should hold on when things are rough. We want validation that things will change out of fear of letting go too soon. At other times, we may ask because we so want to be loved by a specific person, even though we are being treated in a way that makes us feel bad.
If we can get someone to tell us that our heartthrob will eventually love us, then we can use that to trick our brains into not feeling pain. We avoid and delay the heartbreak we would naturally feel if we didn't have outside assurances from a psychic reader who tells us that one day we will be loved by this individual. But if we allow ourselves to feel the pain of our current reality, then we allow action and change to work into our lives … and that is what we really need when we are not loved in a relationship.
I understand the yearning behind the question, "Will he ever love me?" However, it's one of the most distracting and destructive questions you can ask and focus on when seeking guidance from a psychic or tarot reader. No prediction, not even from the best psychics around, is 100% reliable when it comes to affairs of the heart. The reason for this is that all people, as stated above, have free will to change their minds. A lot of times psychics pick up on energy that the person in question isn't even conscious of within themselves … and an unconscious person cannot be relied upon to act in a predictable way. Most importantly, it totally gets you away from what is happening today, and your happiness rests in what you are living and putting energy towards right now.
Love means a lot of different things to different people. Someone may have feelings of love for you, but this person may not choose to be with you or life circumstances make it impossible for you to be together. Feeling love vicariously through a psychic reader may give you comfort; however, that is not real love. Not only do you deserve real love, it is also what your soul wants. Love is what is healing to humans. Trying to feel it through others only keeps you connected to a blocked source of love. You need to be released so that you can heal from your disappointment and move on and find a person who is willing and able to share love with you directly.
If you sustain the belief that someone who isn't loving towards you now, will be loving towards you in the future, you are vulnerable to putting up with a lot of non-loving behavior while waiting for what you desire to come. You shouldn't have to wait for love – it is either there or it is not. If you have to ask for outside confirmation about that love, then there is a good chance that it is not there, or the person is choosing to not share it. In either case, you are better off to accept the lack of it, grieve, and move on.
When we make choices based on how things are today and not on future predictions, then we begin to set the stage for love to enter our life in the present. Letting go of a relationship that is not showing us love, makes space for a relationship that is loving. We are telling the Universe, "I am not going to wait around and settle for a possible future prediction of love" and the Universe will support that.
Usually, when we do choose to wait around for a person who is unavailable with their love, it might be a way of avoiding real relationships. Real "in-your-face-right-now" relationships can bring up even more fears and uncertainty than a "future-maybe-hopefully-one-day-I-will-love-you" relationship, because that kind of relationship requires you to be seen and known by another person – now! It asks for levels of emotional and sexual intimacy that might be uncomfortable, especially if we have previously been hurt.
So understand your past and affirm your right to an available and loving partner, and in the meantime, consider asking your advisor about how you can be most loving to yourself. The guidance and insight you receive from that question will carry you much closer to a true and lasting love, than a prediction about if he will ever love you.
Thank you for sharing Captain, thank you to you and all the others on this site whom have helped me and answered my questions. I have learned to begin loving myself and to not worry about whether I find love or not.
Thank you, I just want you to know I am grateful. I have done a lot of self examination and I now know, love will not come for someone who pushes it away when it is near and grabs for it when it is not offered.
Your words have repeated to me over and over of letting the universe know what I want. Then it will come. I think it will come when it is ready. Thank you, sorry if this does not make total sense here, I'm a bit out of it (sleepy).
You're very welcome.
This is an excellent article and it encapsulates one of the lessons I'm learning.
Letting go of an unrequited or unavailable love frees up space in your life for real love to come in. However, we must be patient and not jump into a similar non loving relationship. So the real question is NOT - "will he ever love me?"" " or ""when will I meet my true love?" but rather
"How can I love myself?"
I used to ask for readings all the time about an unavailable man in my life. I don't anymore because it doesn't matter. If it is meant to be or if he decides to change then I will know it. But I only have control of my thoughts, feelings and actions. I'm moving forward and letting life unfold before me. I'm not even trying to meet anyone else right now. As hard as it is, its time for me to be alone right now.
Anyway, don't want to get too carried away with my reflecting. Great article Captain
I wonder if people really know what they're actually saying when they say "I love you." It's never just that simple, it can be "I'm scared of being alone so i need you" or "I need someone to love me back so I will know I am worthy and lovable" or "You seem to resemble the fantasy image of a perfect partner that I have in my head" or "Will you be the good parent I never had?" or "I love that you love me" or "I need someone to lean on and run my life for me" or "I must have a partner and child or society/my family/friends will think there's something wrong with me" etc. True love is unconditional - it doesn't depend on someone loving you back.
Exactly Captain. Love is many different things to people.
captain, can i ask you a question?
This one is a toughie for me. Captain, this is a great article. It rings so incredibly true, it hurts a little bit. As a small child, I watched "The Princess Bride" and I believed in "True Love". As a man was tossed down a large hill, he screamed "Asssss Youuuuuu Wiiiiiiiiiisssssshhhh!" For me, whenever I have said "I love you", I have always meant, "When you need me, I will do whatever is necessary to make your life better." As my life continues, I lose this feeling a little more each day, and as Leonessa said, what I really need to do is love myself. I have no definite point to this letter except that, I still believe in love. Whatever it may mean to each of the 6 billion people on this earth. I believe in it, more than anything else.
Leonessa, I recently read an article on letting go and your post reminded me of it. It gave me a great visual that I use in meditation. It said to imagine yourself carrying a large bucket of water with both arms, traveling down a path. Everyone you pass sees you with the bucket, and since it is so large and requires both of your arms to carry, you cannot give them anything nor receive anything. This is very helpful to me, and I hope others find it helpful as well.
And by the way, excellent post, Captain. It is very true and I personally feel that we all already own all the answers, we just seek validation outside instead of looking inward sometimes.
Kmuse, if your question is not in regard to this subject, can you please start your own separate thread?
ok, I will when I am not so tired. thank you Captain.
That is a lovely post!!! Very true but so hard to follow. On reading my angel cards, i often get messages about takin care of myself and the message is if you take care of urself and show urself love then the rest will follow..... Beautiful