Can Soulmates just be Friends?



  • Article by Ariadne Green

    Yes, it's a wonderful thing to meet and match up with your soulmate – that one person in the world who complements you most. For most, the natural next step is to bond, form a solid love relationship, become intimate partners and eventually make it to the altar. But not all soulmates make it that far for a myriad of reasons. Instead some choose to become only good friends.

    When Donna, her husband and children moved into their new home a few years back, they immediately struck up a friendship with their next-door neighbors. As soon as Donna met John, the head of that family, there was a familiarity that was beyond any logical explanation. It was as if they had known each other forever. They clicked, bonded and became instant friends. They talked for hours sharing their joys and sorrows as well as the mundane details of day-to-day life. But it wasn't until she started dreaming of him night after night did she ever imagine that he was her true soulmate. Many of the dreams were of a transcendent nature, otherworldly and heavenly with John holding out the light to her and telling her he loved her. Donna said her heart cracked open in a way she had never experienced before. She felt as if through John she had touched God. Because of these experiences, Donna was thrown into a whirlwind of confusion and decided to contact a psychic advisor for a reading. After all, she felt secure in her marriage, loved her husband and children and could never imagine breaking up two families to become intimate with John. The psychic advisor verified the twin flame connection between she and John. So, Donna began reading everything she could find on the topic of soulmates and concluded that what the advisor had told had to be true. She had to admit she now loved two men. But how to handle the situation became the question at hand. With the help of another psychic advisor, Donna understood the meeting with her divine complement had been divinely designed not necessarily to bring the two of them together as a couple but to bond two families in friendship. It was an unusual destiny to forego an intimate husband and wife partnership in favor of a long lasting friendship. But it was an interesting one through which two families could learn about love bonds with neighbors.

    When the Plan Is Just to Be Friends

    Although the vast majority of soulmate couples promise to bond in this life as romantic partners and to commit for life, some like Donna and John have planned an alternative relationship.

    Soulmate promises are called karmic contracts and are sacred agreements to serve the consciousness of each other in a variety of ways. Some contracts are as general as, to nurture, bond closely and to love. The details of how to fulfill those promises are left up to the individuals during their incarnation together. Other contracts are more specific. For example, you may have promised to support your soulmate financially so that they would come to know the joy in receiving and the comfort in knowing they are taken care of by you. The karmic contracts are woven into a destiny plan that spells out some of the opportunities as well as the limitations you have chosen to experience for your lifetime together. Like Donna and John, your destiny plan may have been to only be friends, one that could prove very challenging if one of you was cognizant of the spiritual connection as soulmates and yearns to consummate a romance. But if you can swallow the reality, being great friends can be almost as fulfilling.

    Friends First

    Darrell started out as Mary's husband's best friend. The friendship was so tight that Darrell was considered a member of the family. For 12 years, they socialized together, hanging out in Mary's home every weekend, watching football, sharing meals and doing everything friends do. Mary felt the connection with Darrell as much as her husband did and couldn't imagine life without either of her men. When Mary's husband died suddenly from a heart attack, Darrell was Mary's constant source of love and support. They grieved together and soon the bond moved from friends to something more. The truth was that Darrell and Mary were linked together spirit-to-spirit and soul-to-soul. They were divine complements – soulmates. Darrell had two important karmic contracts for his life, one with Mary and the other with his best friend. It was Mary's choice to support and help Darrell fulfill his promises with her husband. When they had completed their destiny with Mary's husband, a new chapter opened for Mary and Darrell to commit the rest of their lives to each other in a soulful bond as soulmates.

    Robbed of the Romance

    Sometimes soulmates wind up just friends because one of them is tied up in another relationship. No, it wasn't planned that way but it became a reality because one of them didn't wait. Now, there are other commitments, entanglements and sometimes children to consider that keep the pair at a distance. One such couple was Thomas and Laura. Laura came into Thomas' life two years into another love relationship. As with most soulmates, the attraction was too powerful to ignore and it soon became obvious to both that they were made for each other. But Thomas was caught between a rock and a hard place. He felt a strong sense of commitment and loyalty to the other woman. So much so, that he couldn't muster up the courage to break up with her. Laura was naturally frustrated, hoping and praying he would come to his senses. But after three years of waiting for the "big day", she conceded that day would probably never come. Now, they remain in intermittent contact sharing a small portion of their lives as friends.

    How Important Is It to Remain Friends with Your Soulmate After a Breakup?

    God knows it's hard to remain friends after a breakup with your soulmate. But if the breakup was amicable, the relationship can easily glide into a lasting friendship. By forgiving and blessing your partner's life you will do a lot to free them to move on. And you will have given them a gift few have been able to do – the gift of your continued love. If the romantic phase was short-lived, staying in contact and remaining friends can give you more time to complete karma carried over from previous lifetimes in which you failed to love and honor your soulmate. You will be able to continue to support them emotionally and be a guiding force in their life, thus completing on a favorable note. You could learn that becoming close friends after a nasty breakup can be regarded an even higher spiritual achievement than sticking it out living together in a poverty of love.



  • I believe in Soul Mates...I am a 24yr old woman and my soul mate is my best friend, she is a 21yr old woman (Im a Sun Libra & she is a Sun Leo)....we are both straight with kids. My ex husband was best friends with her ex boyfriend when we first met, we would all hang out every night and we just hit it off right away..finishing each other sentences, laughing about the same stuff, we dont always see eye to eye but we definately respect each other...they ended up moving in down the road....after about 2months her boyfriend broke up with her, than a little over a year later my husband left me...she practically lived with me and my kids for 5 months while she was pregnate, and i was going thru the grieving of my husband leaving me....it has been 7months now and she just moved in and its awesome living with her, we always have a great time together and do most everything together, and we NEVER run out of things to talk about. Im glad i have met her while im this young so I can enjoy it for a long time i hope.....My strenghts are her weakness and visa versa...........Thanks for letting me share 😃



  • It's wonderful that you made such a close connection, Kayla.



  • this is a wonderful post!!! THANKS CAPTAIN!!!



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  • Where to start.....??? I am Taurus married to a Libra for 15 years, we hav 4 kids. my husband has had several affairs resulting in children but has refused to leave me, the last being about 2 and a half years ago. at the time he said that he would continue to live in our home and see his girlfriend and if I chose to see someone that was up to me, but we would remain sharing and living in the family home. Needless to say i was distraught, however, I believed him i thought it was over between us and fell into depression and did not know how i would go on.

    A male Cancer friend who i know longer then i know my husband and i became very close and began an intimate relationship which lasted 10 months. he finished it with me to begin a new relationship with his girlfriend. We remained friends and after all i was still married and my husband was trying to smooth things over with me. my Cancer friend is still with his girlfriend a year later and she has moved in with him. He continues to be in constant touch with me and we hav been intimate on several occasions. I feel very strongly connected to him and that he was meant to be with me for a reason to show me that there cud be life after my husband. I think we both have feelings for each other but we didn realise how strong our bond was until we split. Our families are very close he is like an Uncle to our kids and i love him dearly. The problem is I cant get away from my husband altho i hav accepted that i will never be happy with him anymore, he remains selfish drinks too much is verbally abusive when hes drunk and i hav no doubt that he will cheat again. I am devastated that i cant be with my Cancer friend. I wish him all the best with his gf, however, i would love to know if there is a chance for me and him in the future. I truly believe that if my husband had left when he said he would that my Cancer friend and i would have made a lasting relationship. There has been a lot left unsaid due to our situation and both of us fear of rejection. I feel in my heart he is my soul mate and will come back to me but i would love to know if you can tell me any more about it.......... dobs are 16/May/73 and 7/Jul/74.



  • Iriane, this is not a thread for personal queries but for everyone to share their insights of this topic. If you want a more personal reading, create your own thread by clicking on the "Create a new topic" button at the top right of this page. Briefly though, I feel there is a good chance of you two being together but you would both have to change your present circumstances to do so. Your friend is put off by you remaining with your husband.



  • Thanks Captain for your help I will do. this was a great article, thanks for sharing....:D



  • haha but what if the breakup was horrible and there is no friendship in sight? ha...i finally let my "soulmate" go...i now believe that we can have more than one soulmate, i hope so anyway 🙂



  • Yes, a lot of people are mistaken in thinking there is only 'the one' soulmate for them, when in fact we have many different types of soulmates throughout our lives. We tend to think we have made a mistake when we end up with someone who turns out to be incompatible, but actually there are no mistakes - everyone has something to teach us - good and bad - and we get involved with people to learn life lessons, not find a life partner (that's not why we came here, though romantic novels would have us think so).



  • it took me a while to figure that one out, but you are exactly right. haha i have also learned you can't be friends with exes. some people can, but apparantly i am not one. oh, well lol