it is August but I am holding off posting an update because I have nothing upbeat or fun to say.

Jodomi, if you feel that everything you are doing is wrong, perhaps you need to change the orientation you use to make choices or decisions? For example, if you tend to be impulsive or just do what you want without considering alternatives or consequences, then maybe you need to stop and think more before you act. Or if you over-analyse and agonize over making a decision, maybe you should trust your gut reactions and instincts more. What sort of decision-maker are you?

@thecaptain ty

@jayann https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/relationships

Hi Jayann, What can you do to make yourself smile? What plan can you put in place to make your next step better?

@jayann Both of those songs were knee jerk reactions. I do believe they hold simple truths you can apply. What really comes to mind is the collection of songs/videos by the Lumineers, known as The Ballad of Cleopatra. Warning... at face value this collection can appear very gloomy and without hope, when in fact it's just the opposite. Just like any work of art it holds multiple meanings to the eye of the beholder, Google for the basic concept/theme. I do believe there's a strong connection between the Lumineer's character Ophelia and the one found in William Shakespeare's ''Hamlet", and we can't forget Cleopatra... Very deep indeed. “What We Do In Life Echoes In Eternity"

@squadus can you help? @bleudawn what do you think? @Moon50 @Blmoon

@jayann 2019 will I be happy Self - ace of swords = be motivation and take action Higher Power - page of pentacles = need to put in place clear plans for achieving my dreams and goals Situation - 7 of wands = will have to stand my ground recent past - 5 of cups = what can go right from this point onwards. near future - justice = look closely at the pros and cons of a decision challenges - 10 of swords = start over and learn lessons Long term potential - moon = speak of dreams, facing your fears of the unknown Advice - 2 of cups = a partnership of equals - commitment and monogamous Allues - death = transformations and changes through endings Blockers & Inhibitor - ace of cups = have courage - new relationship like teenager in love.

@blmoon You are right I should be grateful for having a medical condition which cannot be controlled, always in pain which cannot be stopped. One cannot lose what one has never had and as for being on my life path with leads to happiness and fulfilment. Well I have never had happiness or fulfilment. So yes I can trust that my life will be a waste of time. Come on death I cannot wait to leave this life.